All in all, my next lecture was a disaster. The lecturer herself looked lost and like she needed a GPS locator to get back on track. What added to this disaster was her horrible grammar.

“The appelative cognomen that critically and categorically elucidates my exceptional personae is Dr. Mary-Ann Adediwura,” she introduced herself. I wondered how someone in their right mind would be so absurd like that when she could just say “My name is Dr…”

All I could hear were reels of laughter and mock applause, and from that moment on I knew that we were in for the worst. I was turned off by her appearance and ambiguity but I decided to never skip any of her lectures. I later learned that she studied in Nigeria before she travelled overseas. She also boasted about her 18 years of experience in the University.

Her attitude forced me to become a dictionary lover as I believed that if I wanted to pass her course or learn anything from her, I needed to master English grammar myself. A dim light of hope shone through when the Course Reps. decided to report her and request for a change of lecturer for the course but then we learned that she was the Second-in-Command in the Department.

We accepted our fate and everbody tried to keep their distance as much as possible except yours truly. I decided to know more about her and learn how she was able to gain command of grammar like that. She was extremely ready to help me build my grammar and change my use of English but I was the one who changed her. All I remember was one day at her office.

“Good Afternoon, Ma. how is the day going?” I asked.

“Good Afternoon, boy. The day is awesome and yours?” she replied.

“Hope it’s not too stressful?” I continued.

“No, thanks,” she responded.

“Ma, I want to ask you some questions,” I countered.

“Go on,” she replied.

“What is the essence of good grammar?” I asked.

“The essence of good grammar and language is to communicate,” she replied, “all others are stories and…”

She came down to our level.

***

Tell us: What do you think about Dr Mary Anne?