I hated every male species, I was even afraid to be left alone with my uncles. I felt as if it was some sort of a bad luck that I had to go through with. My mother sensed my feelings and she took me to a counsellor and I was even tested for HIV and AIDS. I was healthy. But I had to see a counsellor every weekend. At school my marks were not affected but I was always emotional in class.

My dad came every month end with some groceries and clothes. He told me that he had punished the boys but we had to keep the secret within the family. I wanted justice. I wanted them to rot in jail even though they were my stepbrothers. I was sure they hated me more. I could even imagine Melody and her daughters hating me more but I was the victim.

“Why don’t Melody and her daughters visit her?” my mother suggested to my father.

“Melody assumes Shami lied so that she can destroy the family,” he answered. I knew it. I sat there and thought about how Melody and her daughters treated me. She was my second mother and I had bigger sisters but now I had lost them. My mother told me not to tell anyone about what happened at my father’s home. She told me to keep it a secret only the counsellor, my dad, my mum, Melody and her children knew about. Sometimes I would dream about Bright and Lovemore raping me over and over. I always screamed, groaned and sobbed in my sleep.

“Gerald, this is affecting Shamiso. That’s why I wanted your sons in jail,” my mother said in tears.

“What will happen if they are jailed? Would she find peace?” he answered unclear. “They are my sons, Saru. Melody already hates me and Shami, she thinks I want to divorce her to be with you,” he continued stricken.

“You and I are over. I see you love Melody, just keep them far from Shami please,” she said, furious.

“Shamiso has to forgive them, after all they are her family,” he said with delight even though he knew it will be hard.

“As long as I live that will never happen,” she shouted, more enraged.

I had to live with this secret until I grew up. It was a big burden to carry. I passed my Advanced levels and attended university. I haven’t seen my father’s wife and her children since. Time flew and my wounds healed slowly. I just hoped they won’t abuse someone else. I am a survivor but it had separated me from my real family, at least my mother is my family.

***

Tell us what you think: What do you think families would rather keep these secrets hidden than let justice take its course?