When I got home I headed to my room and locked the door. “I need something in there, open up please,” said Tinyiko trying to open the door.

“Go away!” I shouted covering my head with the pillow and crying. I cried till I couldn’t anymore.

“I went to see your mother and…” said George when he came back from work.

“I don’t wanna hear it!” I shouted, covering my ears. He thought me hearing that she was still on that deathbed and getting worse made me happy, but it killed me actually.

“I want to sleep now, open up please,” Tinyiko begged from the door.

“Sleep on the couch, I’m not opening this door,” I replied and slept.

I was kicked out of the English class for the rest of the week (which was good; I got to regain my sleep behind those cars). I failed the math test dismally but… I couldn’t care less.

“Georgedy, please sign here,” Tinyiko said excitedly with her 100% pass paper in her hand.

“Wow! That’s my girl,” he signed proudly for his perfect daughter.

And then there was me; with an epic fail. I felt so jealous and embarrassed.

“Sign here please,” I said in a hurry to get back to my room.

His face changed from proud to a big frown.

“Two percent, Mihloti? What happened here?” he asked with the paper in his hand.

“It happens, no big deal,” is what I could come up with.

“But… I thought you were great with math,”

“And how would you know? You were never here so please!”

“I get that… but this… this is a…”

“A disgrace? Say it! That’s what I am, right? A disgrace!” I was yelling.

“I didn’t say that…”

“You didn’t have to say it. Now, will you sign or what?” I asked threatening to take the paper away.

He finally signed and I went to my room and gave the loudest cry ever, just so he could hear me.

“I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean to hurt you. Open up so we can talk please,” I heard him say standing at the door.

“Talk? You mean so you can tell me what a disgrace I am to you, huh?” I asked between cries. “I’m not opening this door, you will stand there till the end of time,” I promised him.

I spent the whole weekend locked up in my room and didn’t speak to anyone. I ignored Mbhoni’s texts and Ntiyiso’s calls.

I was already getting thin because I hardly ate or didn’t eat at all.

It was on a Monday morning when I was in Business Studies that I was summoned to the principal’s office.

“What did you do?” Mbhoni asked curiously as I stood up.

“How should I know?” I walked out.

I couldn’t figure out why I was summoned to the office, but I kept walking.

I found George, Mr Baloyi and Ms Vilakazi along with Mr Le Roux, the principal, waiting for me in his office.

“I take it you’re wondering why you’re here,” Mr Le Roux started, in his tone. I felt a long lecture was to follow.

“Yes sir,”

“Mihloti, you’re one of a few learners that Silver Oaks is honoured to have schooling in this school…” he paused, “but recently I’ve heard that your marks have dropped and you’ve become rude to teachers. Is there something bothering you?” he asked concerned.

“Don’t you think I would’ve told you if it concerned you?”

“Don’t be rude,” Mr Baloyi said.

“Her mom’s in hospital,” George said.

“I can talk for myself, thank you. And I don’t know how my mom being in hospital concerns any of you,”

“It does if it affects your school work. Why haven’t you spoken to anyone about this?” Ms Vilakazi asked.

“Oh, so you can spread it all around the whole school and I’ll be pitied by everyone? Sorry, but none of this school’s educators know the meaning of confidentiality,”

“I think you should see a therapist, you have to talk to someone you’ll trust,” the principal suggested.

“I agree,” George said and the other bunch of fools nodded.

“You all agree?” I asked in a lame tone. “Don’t I get to decide if I’ll see the therapist?” I glared at them.

“It will help you,” Vilakazi said.

“Thanks but no thanks,” I said standing up. “If y’all thought ganging up on me meant I’d go along with this stupid idea, wrong!” I paused, “besides, if I could live with the pain of being fatherless without talking to anyone then I don’t have to talk to anyone about this,”

“But… this is really affecting you, you have to talk to someone,”

“|Ani pengi| I’m not crazy. I don’t have to talk to anyone,” I left them all there.

I walked back to class and didn’t talk to anyone. “And? Oh come on, don’t leave me in the dark,”

“Mbhoni, I’ll tell you. Just not now please,” I looked down.

Now I’m treated like some kind of lunatic. I don’t need to talk to anyone. But I have an idea that will even things for me. If Tinyiko meets her maker then I won’t be the only one hurting. Her parents will need therapy for their tragic loss.

I couldn’t wait to get home. “Juice?” I asked undressing in my room.

“Yes please,”

I gathered every pill I could find and hid it behind me.

I made two glasses of juice and put the pills in her glass.

“Here,” I smiled wickedly, handing her the juice.

***

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