I finally made a decision. I was throwing away the bangle. I didn’t need it any more, Ronnie had moved on. I couldn’t cling onto him. I had to remove him from my thoughts, heart and mind. Maybe this could change my life. Maybe my next relationship would work.

I was cursed. What can I say? You’d say the same as I would. I burned the bangle in coals. The woman in my dream had indicated the bangle wasn’t the glue that joined me and Ronnie. What I didn’t understand was why he was with another woman. Gloria had revealed to me that Ronnie had an engagement party. I was filled with jealousy, I had evil thoughts. I wanted to make the party a disaster.

He was working at a big company. I pretended to ignore it, but it dug a pit in my heart. I pushed the thoughts away. I felt like hearing his name would do more harm. I hated him. I hated everything about him.

A week later Gloria was invited to Ronald’s wedding. I didn’t go. Gloria pushed me to go and I still refused. What kind of ex invites another ex to their wedding? I knew I would want to stop the wedding but I couldn’t force him to love me again. I warned Gloria not to talk about the wedding. She didn’t fight me and she knew it would backfire if I was there. I hate you, Gloria, how could you? The pain was unbearable.

Here, today, I am sitting advising the youth about making drastic decisions without thinking. My dad told me to find the right man. You are going to kiss a lot of frogs. You don’t just meet the right one but you have to find him. Why can’t we just meet the one at first, not go into a circus to test every Tom and Jerry? I thought Ronald was mine but now look. I was even ashamed to admit I was a fool in love. The love you feel when you are 16 is not real love. It can be destroyed as you grow up. When you are young you want to experiment with things. Remember every decision you make will affect your future.

I am sitting here lonely like a spinster. If I could reverse my life I would have stopped the blood covenant but I still wonder what made him move on. Maybe my blood wasn’t in him. His blood was in mine.

This is how I end. I walk back home starting to accept my life will be miserable.

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