This year I’m hoping I get something special. Last time I got a gift on Valentines was in 2009. Even that was late but as they say, it’s the thought that counts. Even today I still hold that teddy close to my heart.
I wouldn’t mind chocolates, roses or another cute teddy, something to hold on to right through the night. But deep down I need someone to hold, true love, the man of my dreams.
But this love thing is confusing. Maybe we have a lot of expectation. Look at me, I knew a man that probably truly loved me but I let him go because he is not the man of my dreams. So what do you do when the one man that loves you is different from Mr Right? Tough situation I tell you, take for example our relationship…
Aya was a sweet guy. He would do anything for me. Wasn’t I suppose be delighted? I mean it’s every girl’s dream! But the problem is he was overweight, a size 40 or something. Apart from that he was perfect. I don’t know why his weight was a problem, but then it was.
I guess it’s because I never saw myself with a guy like him… I was more into sports men. Someone with a six pack more like Taylor Lautner. And for that reason I couldn’t be with Aya. And for years I battled with my feelings, worried about what my friends would say, I just couldn’t.
But he was very patient with me. Instead he settled for just being friends so I made him my best friend. I guess knowing that he loved me made me trust him. I told him almost everything, about my relationships, my love life; the works.
And he was always there, understanding, caring, and even giving me advice. A part of me took him for granted. I mean who would love a fat guy? At least that’s what I reasoned to myself.
I was unfair to treat him that way. I kept him for myself and didn’t want to share his mind and personality with anyone, I was selfish. Then when he shared with me, as a friend, about his relationships, I was bothered.
In fact I was jealous of his relationships. I guess it made me realize that he wouldn’t put his life on hold for me even though I knew he would be around forever.
My jealousy grew worse when I saw his girlfriends. Some were even prettier than me. That hurt me more because I knew what kind of man he was and I had rejected him for foolish reasons. And now I felt regret.
So I decided to tell him how I felt. I couldn’t take the pain anymore. He welcomed me with open arms and I was so happy. We were happy. It was the most rewarding and best relationship I’ve ever been in.
Tell us what you think: Is having ‘a type’ the same as discriminating against a certain class/kind of people? What do you base your ‘type’ selection on?