I remember

The fluorescent lights

Your radiant gray eyes searching for a home in mine

Your warm hands, holding on too tightly, promising to never let me go.


I remember

How your voice used to bring to life the butterflies in my stomach It played sweet melodies in my ear

It made flowers bloom in winter.


We’d talk for hours on the phone

We had the “no, you hang up,” kind of love

You knew me the way a spider knows its web, the way roses recognize their scent.


Ours was no regular love

It sent shivers down the spines of loveless men

It lit up Sandton City like a fireball

It was fragile

 It was unsafe

It would turn sane people into maniacs.


I remember

My heart danced to the rhythm of your soul. 

My love for you burnt too bright

It set an inferno to everything it touched.


I remember

When it started to consume me

When it ate at my soul like the crumbling 

of a worn out house 

When the light in your eyes began to lose its glow.


I couldn’t say anything

Words remained clogged up in my throat. 

I wanted to keep the fire burning


But then

I remembered

When your fire burned out it died slowly

Over time the bones that held us together became too brittle, they broke 

You left.

You walked away.


I should have tried a little harder Laughed softer

Stood a little taller

I should have looked like her Had a smile as bright as hers Maybe we’d revive the Fire.


I remember…

I remember how badly I wanted you to stay I held on so tight

My fingers started to bleed

For long nights, I wept on my pillow,

until my pillow couldn’t absorb any more pain.


The lights are dim now.

The music is softer & keeps me grounded. The blood has dried

The faucets run empty

The soles of my feet no longer leave footprints.


But you know what?

The ashes are reminders of what once was I know the inferno my heart can create,

That’s why I keep it caged and locked away now The remains are proof that it was alive once.