I had come to understand
that in life
you only had one chance to find
true love.
One chance for happiness.

Have I been exposed to the harmful radiation
of true love and happiness?
If not, then why did it hurt?
Was it because I’ve never felt such love?
Love that made the stars shine
a thousand times bright.
The moon felt
a thousand miles closer.

“Don’t exaggerate!” she once said.
That’s because she didn’t see
behind my facade –
the true me.
The hopeless romantic.
The self-loathing beast,
without integrity or dignity.
That beast who wore a mask of sanity,
hiding its insecurities.

This was a part of me
I wasn’t sure I wanted changed.
Nights without sleep.
The thought of Pearl was
a beautiful thought.
Nothing and no one seemed more perfect.
It reminded me
of the beautiful fragrant flower
blooming just one night each year.
People who witnessed the miracle,
could describe it
and never forgot it.