He has hurt me many times,
yet I still forgive him.
He has let me down in every way
but I still choose him.
He lied to me many times
but I still believe him.

I choose to live with him
but what he sees is a homeless person
who was abused by her mother and father.
I choose to do everything in the name of loving him.

But loving him makes me pale spiritually.
Loving him is like throwing away
your incredibly special gift.
Loving him makes me feel like I’m a fool.
He makes me feel like I can’t do anything
successful anywhere for anyone.

I cry my lungs out at night
since it’s the best thing I can do
when I know deep down
what he’s doing is not okay.
I smile when deep down I’m not okay.
I laugh when deep down I’m crying.

How can I make him give me the attention
he gives everyone except me?
What do I need to do to get him see
and understand me?

How can someone you love make you feel
lonely and less important?
How can he make you feel guilty
and like you’re not worth it?

I was never ready and I don’t think
I’m ready now to have a kid.
But because he is, I’m willing to take that risk
because I love him.