What happened to my carefree life?
What happened to the sweet girl that loved putting a smile on someone’s face?
What happened to me?
My heart bleeds when I think of all the wrong that people do to me.
What have I done to you?
What have I done to deserve to be treated like the trash people throw out their windows.
My soul cries.
Every day I think to myself, “Why do they do this to me?”
I guess it is always the ones with the soft hearts.
With the precious blood.
With the agenda of not seeing people’s sadness.
It’s the ones who want to help others that always get burnt.
I am tired.
I am tired of feeling like I can be pushed around.
I am tired of feeling like I am a second option.
I am tired of being held back by the fear of not being accepted in society.
Then, when my heart goes cold.
They will wonder what happened to me…
Not knowing they were the cause.
Not knowing they turned a pure heart to stone.
I am all for second chances.
But when my mental health is at stake, best believe that I can change.
I hate pessimistic thoughts, but when you see what the people have done to others and you have experienced it yourself… All is lost.
It’s hard to find a silver lining when all the clouds are black.
When I close my eyes. I dream of anywhere but here.
But then, I don’t want to change.
I don’t want to change because I don’t want society to deem me ‘good enough’ when I know I’m good enough on my own.
I guess I’ll never change because when I see people around me and how they have changed, all I can see is how they are trying to fit to places that won’t do them any good.
I find myself overthinking about everything.
Why can’t I be different too?
I’m so tired of trying to impress people, it’s exhausting.
I wish I made sense. Sometimes the things I say don’t make sense because they are jumbled up. That is what happens when you pour out your hurt not your heart.
I wish for you to be strong. Whoever is going through something they can’t control. I pray that you become strong enough to overcome it.
I know that your internal voice sounds like hate when the heart is hurt and angry.
I say to you.
Just be strong because mountains can be moved when you have faith.
And a smile on your face.