Sleep would’ve been my rescue,
But it was abruptly taken away by a ruthless nightmare.

I turned myself into a boy because they said boys are strong
…they lied.
Then I turned myself into a girl because they said girls have it easy in life
…oh boy they lied.

Then I slowly craved and envied the life of a stone:
an inanimate hard breakable object, but still distinguishable from the rest.
Living a full life tossed and turned by the turmoils of the whirlwinds and
dilly-dally children walking from school.
I am a fool.

I have written the same pain in a thousand words,
I am still unheard.
They clap hands at my poetry.
Come hold hands with me.
I am still a loner.

In my deceptive poetry I said I cried tears of gold
Woe to me…
for I only cried tears of free water and cheap salt.
I Am Nkele Mothusi