I’m sitting all by myself…
All the people that I relied on turned against me
I know you are already gone but
I feel like you should’ve at least warned me…
Warned me not to rely on anyone but myself.

I go to your grave every day and pray
Thinking maybe I will hear your voice
Coming from heaven telling me what to do.
I should’ve listened to you when you told me
To focus on my studies. I feel like I should’ve
Chosen to study for my exams rather than hang with my buddies…
I’m broken, mom

I pray every night before I sleep, begging God
To reverse his actions and bring you back because I need you.
I used to wait at the gate every day, waiting for you…
You never had a day off, you were always working
For me to have a bright future but all your hard work was in vain.
If I’m not at the streets begging for food
I’m at the corner begging nyaope boys for brotherhood.
I feel like it’s the only solution to what I’m facing now.

If you can hear me, mom, can you please show me how…
Show me how to make my life better because I’m lost..
I wouldn’t really mind even if you came in my dreams as a ghost.
I don’t want to talk about my father but let me just tell you anyway…
He kicked me out just after you were buried.
He said I should be my own man and gave me few rands…
I saw your will, I saw all the money you had saved up for me but
I never got it.
I’m a boy of the streets now.
My friends call me a cow, like really…
How can they do this to me.
But it’s life.
I just hope you heard it, mom.
I miss you.