(Ryan comes home, tired. He unlocks the door and walks into the house. He is sagging his feet. Mrs Jacobs hears the sound from the kitchen)

Mrs Jacobs: You better pray that I am not hearing the sounds of feet being sagged, on my tiles!

(Ryan runs to the kitchen.)

Ryan: Mum! Dad! When did you come back? And why didn’t you tell me?

Mrs Jacobs: And spoil the surprise?

Ryan: No, but you could have hinted to me! I was going to prepare something for you!

Mr Jacobs: Really?

Ryan: Yes Dad! You know that I love cooking for you folks.

Mr Jacobs: If that’s the case, then take over from your mother. She is tired, and so am I. We had a long flight.

Ryan: (Rubbing his head) Well…

Mrs Jacobs: Don’t worry, my munchy. Your father is just testing the waters.

Mr Jacobs: Not really. I just want him to stop lying.

Ryan: I wasn’t lying, father.

Mrs Jacobs: You look tired. How was your day?

Ryan: Hell! Mr Fords, the CEO, is treating me like I’m an employee.

Mr Jacobs: Aren’t you?

Ryan: Well, technically I’m a half employee. I’m an intern. He should be taking it easy on me. It’s my first time.

Mrs Jacobs: Your father will have a word with Mr Fords over the weekend. It’s fair that he treats you like an intern, not like an employee.

Mr Jacobs: Are you trying to soften him up now?

Mrs Jacobs: No! I want my baby boy to enjoy his work, not to dread waking up every day. It’s not healthy at all.

Mr Jacobs: (Hides himself in his newspaper) I am the one who told Mr Fords to treat you that way.

Ryan: Dad!

Mr Jacobs: (Acting innocent) What?

Ryan: You’ve put me through hell! I always have to take home loads of files as homework. I don’t know why he didn’t give me any today. I’m not even able to finish them. I have to be at work at seven to finish them up. Do you know what it’s like to leave my cosy blankets in the morning? It’s winter father, winter. Look outside! All the roads are covered in snow!

Mr Jacobs: I was helping you out, son. I love you, more than your mother.

Ryan: (Throwing his hands up into the air) I rest my case!

Mrs Jacobs: (Speaking in a sad voice) That’s good to know.

(Mr Jacobs stands up from his chair and pulls both his wife and son into a bone-crushing embrace.)

Mr Jacobs: (Facing Mrs Jacobs) Am I forgiven?

Mrs Jacobs: No!

(Mr Jacobs makes funny faces.)

Mrs Jacobs: (Giggling as she kisses Mr Jacobs) Okay, okay! You’re forgiven, Mr Jacobs.

Mr Jacobs: Thank you, my better half.

Ryan: Keep your PDA to a minimum, adults! The kid is in the room, next to the both of you.

Mr Jacobs: (Faces Ryan) It’s called tough love, but it’s still love, son. So, do you forgive me?

Ryan: No! No! No!

Mr Jacobs: Not even if I have a souvenir?

Ryan: It will depend on what it is.

Mr Jacobs: Aha!

Ryan: Come on, Dad! I’m already dying of suspense. What is it?

Mr Jacobs: Not until we’re good.

Ryan: OK, father. You’re forgiven.

Mr Jacobs: Thank you! Now, let’s wait for dinner.

Ryan: You’re not playing that card on me, father!

(Ryan chases his father around the kitchen until he manages to catch him. They both struggle to catch their breath.)

Mrs Jacobs: Get out of my kitchen before you spill my pots! Get out!

Ryan: Give it to me already, father.

Mr Jacobs: What?

Ryan: An old man like you is forbidden from playing these games.

Mr Jacobs: I hear you. Get off me then, so that I can show you what I…what we brought back for you.

Ryan: Good.

(Mr Jacobs starts walking to the dining room, but Ryan jumps on his back.)

Mr Jacobs: My son will never grow up.

Ryan: It’s all your fault, Mr Jacobs Senior. You permitted Mrs Jacobs to make me swallow anti-aging tablets when I was growing up.

Mr Jacobs: I wonder who your parents are.

Ryan: They’re two love doves. They followed the sunset to punch out kids. They promised to come back some other day with my siblings. Lucky for you, you have me as your adopted son.

Mr Jacobs: You are one crazy kid! Take this bag and…

Ryan: Open it and fish out my belongings!

Mr Jacobs: (Shaking his head) Alright, give it to me.

(Ryan gives the bag to his father. Mr Jacobs reaches into the bag and pulls out a white cloth covered in Chinese writing.)

Mr Jacobs: Here!

Ryan: Calligraphy! You’re awesome, Dad. I’ve always wanted one of these.

Mr Jacobs: I’m glad you like it.

Ryan: How could I not? What do all these symbols mean? Translation please?

Mr Jacobs: The spirit is immortal.

Ryan: (Squealing as he hugs his father) I love it!

Mr Jacobs: Now go and hang it wherever your heart desires.

Ryan: I’m going to hang it in my room. Can you help me out?

(The two of them go to Ryan’s room.)

Mr Jacobs: At least one thing is tidy in this house.

Ryan: You’re supposed to help me hang this calligraphy, not to inspect my room!

Mr Jacobs: I was just pointing out the obvious. In fact, it was meant as a compliment.

Ryan: Thank you. I am known to be a neat freak.

Mr Jacobs: If they only knew!

Ryan: Somebody doesn’t react well to hearing what other people think of me.

Mr Jacobs: Just hold the nail tight.

(Mr Jacobs hammers the last nail in.)

Mr Jacobs: All done. Let’s head downstairs.

Ryan: I’ll be with you in a moment. I have to get changed.

(Mr Jacobs leaves the room and goes downstairs. After some time, Ryan follows him.)

Mrs Jacobs: Ryan, could you go to the grocery shop and buy me some mushrooms? You finished all the ones we had.

Ryan: It’s already late, mother.

Mrs Jacobs: You are to do as I tell you!

Ryan: We can eat whatever you’ve already prepared. Father and I don’t mind.

Mrs Jacobs: But I do! Now, get out of that door and bring me back fresh mushrooms.

Ryan: No need to be grumpy. What else must I buy?

Mrs Jacobs: That will be all.

Ryan: What about you, father?

Mr Jacobs: A six-pack of Red Bull, thank you.

Ryan: OK.

(Ryan exits the room.)

***

Tell us what you think: What are you first impressions of Ryan and his family? What are your impressions of the relationship between Ryan and his parents?