Have you ever found yourself wide awake at 2am, trying to close your eyes but can’t.

It’s funny how during the day I seem to laugh all day while I am in pain and how people can be comfortable commenting on my appearance and what I should do with my life. My friends tell me to lose a few pounds and my parents look at my school report and say I can do better even when I took position one in my school. How light those words sound during the day.

But at night they visit me when I am all alone in the dark, that’s when those words cut deep like a knife through my heart. I try to sleep but I can’t, because I am trying to figure out how I can lose weight. Do my friends know I am starving myself to reach their expectations? Do my parents know I barely sleep trying to succeed so they are satisfied?
They don’t know the impact of their words on me and how I am bleeding inside. I lied when I said my eyes are red because of my eye problem; it was because I cried myself to sleep.

I turn on the lights and look at myself in the mirror. I am fat and ugly. I am not smart enough, nobody thinks I can do anything right, those are the words I scream in silence, when nobody is listening.

Not once have those people that tell me what to do asked if I’m okay or what I want. It’s always about them and never about me even though this is my life.

It is said not to always believe everything you see. That when I smile in front of you I actually want you to look into my eyes and see the pain. To see that the loud laughter is actually a charade hiding the pain.

I want to scream at the top of my lungs and just release everything I am holding inside but it’s only late at night that I can do that.

In this world, we are all fighting our emotional battles, but keeping them in the dark only hurts you more. I have kept quiet but I now have decided to stop and speak aloud about how I’m feeling.

I don’t know what you are facing but just know you are not alone and remember to never let anyone dictate your life because it is your life and only you have control over it.

Tell us: What is something that you struggle with, with that people have judged you for?