***Based On A True Story***

The beginning of the end/p>

I knew I was a psycho when I smiled the day I was told I was HIV positive. What is a psycho? In today’s society, a psycho is a person who is not seen as a normal human being. They do not belong in the community, and they will never be happy, just like how my journey was determined for me.

Ever since I got into that mental institution, I had been acting strangely. One could argue that I had been given some kind of drug that was creating a monster instead of healing a broken soul.

I did not really love being in the spotlight or playing victim, which is why I kept quiet instead of telling my family that my uncle had infected me with HIV and taken away my innocence. All they knew was that I had helped a sick, bleeding man and gotten infected, but the fact that I laughed about it raised many eyebrows.

I had always been my uncle’s favourite. He would give me the best gifts in the form of money and knowledge, which was all I cared about because I believed that knowledge was the best cap you could ever wear. If only I had known that he also had planned to demolish my future. Like a huge, yellow snake, he crawled up to me, looked me in the eye, and had the guts to apologise to both to me and God.

News about sleeping with a virgin when you want to be healed of HIV had been viral, and as surprising as it may be, no one knew that my uncle had HIV. He came into my room with mountains of snacks and started asking about school and life as he usually did, but within the blink of an eye, he was on top of me and I was fighting for my life. I glanced next to me, saw my innocence walk out the door, and all I could do was let out a single tear, close my eyes, and die, or so I wished.

My weight loss showed me signs, and as everyone wondered, I knew that depression was the cause. I was so depressed that I would forget to cry, but, instead, I laughed the pain away. I was now turning into a smiling, black- eyed, and thin zombie. I fainted on my way into the clinic, and woke up to water, food, blood drips, and how could I forget the voice of my mother shouting at the doctor for answers. The doctor’s reply destroyed my soul.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, HIV is incurable, but it is manageable,” the doctor said.

My future was leaving with the biggest luggage I had ever seen, and what was funny was that it did not even wave goodbye. The doctor noticed that I was awake and came to break my heart even more. He held my hand, apologised, and broke the news to me. I smiled, and I ended it with a laugh. I swear it looked like I had been exposed to laughing gas, and that was when I knew that I had turned into what they called a psycho.

My family tried everything to help me, but all I could do was manage the virus and laugh my pain away. I was trying to forget, but I went overboard.

I wish I had fainted on my way to that mental institution too, because being carried to that white van, kicking, laughing, and screaming, “I’m not crazy”, was worse than watching both my innocence and future leaving me. I am not sure if my parents were disappointed or heartbroken, but I am sure I saw guilt in my uncle’s eyes. I wished he had said something, but he just stood there like a lifeless creature, and I knew that was the end.

Like a jailed person, or PI, who was stuck at sea, I counted the days, and my days turned into years. My diary told me that my parents had come to visit me nine times and disappeared without an explanation. As for my uncle, he came once and later committed suicide. I am not sure if it was the psycho in me talking, but I forgive him. I did not hate him, but I was sad that he did not even have the guts to tell the truth.

I regret my decision because I was destined for greatness. That was not the plan God had for me. I wished I had not given up, but watched, waited, and saw where life would take me. But then again, committing suicide was the closest thing I could find to removing the pain. My heart, body, and brain had concluded that it was the end.

At least I am free now. I thought that mental institution would be the end of me, but it was for the best because I got to discover who I was, and found out some shocking things about my p …

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