It is a Saturday afternoon. Siya is in her flat. She’s a very young woman, light in complexion, skinny, tall and has dreadlocks. She has tiny lips that she pouts every now and then. She’s expecting Solo to arrive anytime from now. They had met exactly six years ago on campus. “Sorry do you know where the New Lecture theatre is?” that was the question asked by Solo to Siya. Siya realised that Solo was Xhosa and she also picked up that she was lost, shaking and nervous. She replied to her in Xhosa, and she looked so relieved that her cute oval face released a shy smile. They started conversing and it turned out they were going to the same event. They were attending training workshop for volunteering at Shawco, an organisation that helps people from the townships. This was their first similar interest they shared.

They had gone from being strangers to being more than friends and they seemingly shared more interests like painting, writing, and music. Over the years they had grown fonder of each other. They had shared many memories together since their varsity days up to now. Most were impeccable but some were bitter just like aloe. They decided to rent a flat together in Observatory after being disowned by their families. Their families were both Christians and they rejected their same sex love.

Siya is in the sitting room listening to slow jam music seating on the floor. She hears grouchy footsteps approaching the door. She knows that is Solo because she usually arrives around this time on Saturdays. She hears keys and the doorknob turning but doesn’t turn to the direction of the door or enthusiastically run to welcome her with a warm embrace as she has been doing over the past years. Solo enters the flat and greets Siya with a warm “Hello my love, how was your day?”

Siya just replies with a plain “it was okay.”

Solo gets closer to her and seats down next to her while embracing her with forehead kisses. Solo asks Siya if she knows what day it is today.

“Yes,” Siya replies nodding her head. It was their fifth anniversary and they met on a Saturday. Siya looks gloomy today with her dreadlocks all over her face. She usually ties them to look neat. Solo has picked up the gloominess and continued with the chat hoping she will come around. She further asks her, “Is there anything you would like to do for the day to celebrate?”. Siya shakes her head without any word. This was weird thought Solo because Siya was more talkative one than her. She knew that she was also not on her periods because she finished last week. She treaded carefully not to further push her away by remaining in silence for a while.

Solo decides that she should probably clean the flat since it was visibly dirty. She stands up from the floor to start with the dishes in their small kitchenette. She quickly cleans the area and move to their en-suite bedroom. She starts by making up the bed and picking up clothes from the floor. When she is picking up clothes something falls from the batch. She can’t believe her eyes. She slowly goes down and picks it up. She wants to confront Siya about this but remembers that she was somber and that can lead to a fight. Perhaps this is the reason for Siya’s sombreness.

She finishes with the clothes and moves to the bathroom. She cleans everything and decide to take out the bin. She opened the dustbin to take out the big plastic that they dispose things on, but something catches her eyes. A pregnancy test? She opens it, it has two lines. Now she’s confused, lost all the energy she had. This day keeps getting worse. She goes to lay on top of the bed contemplating whether she should go ask Siya about the discovering or not.

It’s after thirty minutes and Solo has decided to go back to the seating room and figure it out how she will confront her because this is bothering her. She gets to the seating room and Siya is still in the same position she left her in on the floor her knees high and her face on the knees. She sits next to her and asks, “Siya is there something you would like to tell me.” She gets no response from Siya. She takes out the items she discovered and says, “Well l found these while l was cleaning, please care enough to explain to me what’s happening?”. Siya turns to Solo and upon coming to contact with the items she grabs them and rushes out the room. Solo follows her quickly and shouts “Siya what’s happening?” Siya starts crying hysterically. Solo is getting more confused because she’s blank. She pleads with Siya to explain.

Siya comes down a bit after a while and says, “I have disappointed you.” Solo looks at her and asks “how?”

Siya continues, “I have been stressed about being unemployed a lot lately. I felt like I am a burden to you. I have been speaking with Brandon about this and he tried calming me down and I told him I was not feeling okay at all, so he came over. He had cocaine and promised me it will calm me down. We sniffed two lines I started feeling different. I was uplifted, we ended up having sex. I missed my period and decided to take a test it came positive.”

“Were you not on your periods last week?”

“I lied.”

Tears come out of Solo’s eyes, and she tries to clean them. She is so hurt that her heart is beating slowly, and it feels heavy.

Siya says, “I have done you wrong and I can’t live with this.” She runs to the balcony. Solo runs after her by the time she reaches the balcony there’s a loud BOOM. She’s late. Solo collapses after seeing Siya’s lifeless body on the ground.

This piece was written as part of the Fundza Fellowship programme.