It was the early hours of the night and I just had enjoyed the fruits of our love with my one true love. A marvelous day it had been, but that was before I proposed. We washed off our sweat in the shower and she pulled out her skimpy dress. I knew she was in a joyful mood. Besides, her smile could replace demons with souls.

Seeing this, I covered my skin to match; of course my humbly-in-love heart assumed star black meant unstoppable. With no plans, I dressed and the reflection in the mirror nodded as I stared with wonder that asked more than “who’s the fieriest of them all.” What I saw deserved happiness, the true self I had denied so long. The hole in my heart seemed to be filling up; why not reward the one who fills it up with all I have left? With no question, I embraced my humble thoughts for once.

Walking next to the cleanser of my soul, the filler of my hole; I had neither regrets nor any other thoughts other than those I had embraced. I recall none of our conversation, as it had been filled with laughter and giggles.

Everything went gloriously as expected, we ate, we chatted, we looked each other in the eye. Hell, we even touched hands, as did all those that met last night. We hurried back to the gates of the campus as the guard man had suggested; avoiding inconveniences.

Before we got to the gate, a turn of events mumbled like thunder and lightning, signaling a great storm. A whirlwind blew us off our purpose and robbed us of our joy: my lady had requested a cigarette, a simple cheap cigarette, I tell you. I refused with a series of less dignifying words that wiped the blush off my beautiful girlfriend`s face.

As if that had not been a deal breaker, I went on and let my individual monetary matters impair my thoughts and said words unwelcome to one’s ears. Oh well, the content matters not now. Fury built up as I repeatedly violated her emotions with mine, and she stood up and stormed out of the room. Should I chase her or not? What had I done? I’d wronged her; should I follow her?

Well, I’m no gentleman. I got ready for bed and consoled myself that a girl needs her space. In about half an hour, my heart was startled as the door opened. With fear, I turned to peek. It was her? She was back? Should I talk to her? I wondered. Conception without execution; a crying shame indeed.

After she was done preparing to share my bed, there was a moment of silence and I finally gathered some hormones to speak to her: What a dare, I thought to myself.

She kept quiet. She must be still mad, I assumed but no, my girlfriend stared at me. I could hear her voice so loud and the flames behind her eyes burned me. The glare in her eyes shouted how much of a dog I was, how useless and meaningless I had become. A single look took away all that she had given me.

Empty as I was, as caring as she is; she could not hide her loathing and hatred towards me. Painful as it is to be loathed, it is no match for losing the trust you once had and watching it being taken away from you is no cloud-watching, I tell you. One could argue about Hell and Heaven but I know Hell exists. The question is: Had she put me through Hell or had she simply kicked me back to the pit of fire? I dropped a tear.

As all this was charades; my skull burned with wonder. Are my roots rotten or evil? Am I cursed or unlucky? My life has been, and is, blessed with scarce fruits that men and women seek, but soon after they blossom they turn brown and die. Are my roots rotten or evil? Am I cursed or unlucky? I have no answer to all this, but I know that the blame lays with me, not with the one who waters me with love.