I feel scared and weird to leave my kids home alone or with their father.

When I came back from wherever I came from, I used to ask them weird questions: “Did someone touch you inappropriately?” or, “Did daddy touch you anywhere?” I would even want them to tell me every single detail of what occurred when I wasn’t around.

My curiosity made their dad angry. “What do you think I will do to my own kids?” he asked.

And I replied saying, “I wasn’t talking about you. You know how the world is cruel out there. I just want to be on the safe side and want the kids to be free to talk to me any time.”

Years passed by, and I kept asking the same questions in private.

I was once told I was lying, I was trying to destroy their relationship, that I was a bitter child. I started doubting myself thinking maybe I was wrong, maybe I was seeing things that weren’t there, maybe I was confused. But today here I am, I can’t even love or trust the man who truly loves me, I keep doubting him, I can’t even trust him around my kids.

I keep my kids indoors to protect them from monsters out there, but I’m also scared that they might be devoured indoors. I even taught them to report anybody who touches them, including myself, to me, they must tell me if they feel uncomfortable with people around them. I taught them to never accept money from anyone and to never go to people’s houses without my knowledge.

If I was lying all those years ago, why do the memories of the past keep haunting me?


Tell us: What helpful advice do you have for this mother and wife?