Always wear your invisible crown

Almost every woman speaks about lifting each other’s crown and it’s the most beautiful thing to hear, to see and to realise how many women want to lift each other up. But what does lifting each other up mean? How do you lift someone up without degrading yourself? Well, this might be a collection of a few rhetorical questions but the reality is, these are questions that bring thoughts of self-reflection.

Lifting up someone’s crown is great but lifting your own crown is even greater. Not only does it give you the courage to lift other’s crowns, but it also gives you the joy of watching others grow higher. You cannot give from an empty cup, but I would also say you cannot lift someone else’s crown whilst stamping on your own.

Human nature finds it pleasant or mostly beautiful to see someone give up their being to help another, to be self-less and while I think it’s partly beautiful, I also know that it important for one to pay attention to their needs before wanting to be a savior to everyone. Choose to be a helper and not a savior.

Forgetting about your own needs while fulfilling other people’s needs is an overwhelming feeling. It’s draining and you might be unable to maintain healthy relationships. And that’s when being selfish becomes important for your mental health.

Months back, I wouldn’t have written this, because I always put others first. It’s easier for me to rescue everyone else except myself, to be happy even while broken. It’s part of my nature and personality, it has always brought some sort of satisfaction. Knowing that I could care and be there for everyone. But what I didn’t realise was that, this behavior was not good for those around me but it was also damaging to my emotional well-being.

This behavior has cost me my emotional health and one difficult thing I had to learn during my counselling sessions was, the ability to listen to my emotions. While also listening to myself. To understand my space and know when I am not in a good space, and be able to withstand the desire to be a savior to everyone else but to pay attention to myself and work towards bettering myself until I’m doing great enough to be there for others.
The only way to lift someone else’s crown without degrading yourself is by understanding that your crown is also important and needs intentional attention. Only when you are sure you are in the right space, can allow yourself to lift someone’s crown. This type of selfishness is needed and very important for one’s mental health.

Tell us: Why is selfishness important in some instances?