There are various conceptions of life, ranging from beautiful to worse, lit to hideous. But ultimately everyone has his or her own distinct perception of this woman called “life”. You’re cold, draining, unpalatable, heavy, aggressive, thirsty, hungry, gross, and a little piece of shit, excuse my French.

All I ever wanted was to smile, laugh and worry, not like any other toddlers out there. “Why me?” I said. What’s wrong now, you can’t speak? Look, you took my pops and I didn’t complain. I feel like the least you could do is to place flesh in my dry bones, is that too much to ask for?

Since you took my pops in late 90s my life has never been the same again, neither shit nor shinola. Remember all the weekly clothes I distributed because I was too cool to repeat clothes? I’m kidding, you know there were a number of children within my block who needed those more than I did. Woman, you even had the audacity to take him whilst I was still an infant. Didn’t it strike you that on one of the good days I will have to put a face to my sperm donor? Why didn’t you leave a picture?

Nompilo, you broke me. Out of all the things I have ever prayed for was to meet or see his picture. It was just yesterday when I was ardent that I was having lunch with Samuel – oh that’s my inheritance; until my mother woke me up from that madness. The only person who fills my pockets with hope because she’s woke.

Notably, I don’t know how it feels to be a child nor loved or cherished because you kept my black ass busy. I’m scared that innocent girls are embroiled in all this insanity, which manifests itself in heart breaks.

Mamela Nompilo, it is not orchestrated nor is it my intention to boil the flesh out of their bones by hurting them, but it’s the void inside. My inability to love is partly due to your envy, you didn’t only seize him but uprooted my loving heart. Ever been in a situation whereby everyone starts talking about how awesome their dads or parents are? Sister, that was me. Once too many times, I ended up resorting to my ideal type of a dad, woman I am cold.

Thank you for the richness and colour you’ve added in my life. I doubt that I would have been this empty if it wasn’t for you and I’ll forever be indebted to you.


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