Say hi to the girl with shattered dreams, shattered goals and a shattered self-esteem.

Times are really tough on my side. I mean the girl really thought obtaining a bachelor’s pass in the matric final examinations would be the golden spoon to stir the varsity life and to dish up all the successes that comes in partnership with the corporate world.

Hello, did I tell you that obtaining that “bachelor’s pass” accompanied by two distinctions is actually an introduction, an introduction to the beginning of the worst, because I’m the one who’s slowly crawling into the “matriculated and unemployed statistics”.

I am saying this looking at my calendar which states the end of the first quarter of the year while I am still sitting on my Granny’s couch all day with nothing figured out and with no positive responses from all the institutions I applied at. You see now that’s where the frustrations come from, because sitting around, doing nothing has never been on my to-do list, and now I can only wonder when things are ever going to get better. When will my Grandma get some rest and when will she ever enjoy the fruits of sending me to school? Oh what about me, when will I ever get a break from all the social pressure and the society’s expectations as a whole?

Bro it’s really hard up here. I mean why do I have to put in so much sweat and blood to get the simplest form of obtaining a formal degree when there are kids, almost half my age, living luxurious lives without lifting a finger?

Believe me it is really hard that there are days where I wish I could just fall into deep sleep escaping all the pain and misery of this life, without waking up every after two hours checking my emails. Hoping that they will somehow wipe all tears of hunger and the salty taste of sweat of helplessness.

You know what, apart from all the sadness and confusion I actually find the whole thing amusing. Yeah it’s really funny that our happiness has come to depend on mere email inboxes and heavily written responses from the superiors. No, don’t be surprised, I call them the superiors because our success depends on those roaming around classic offices, the ones working 9-5 as we call it, while we are sweating blood trying to make ourselves visible in their eyes.

Don’t feel sorry for me now because I for one feel sorry for the upcoming generations who are yet to find out the disappointment life actually is. Yes, life is indeed a disappointment for real, I mean twelve whole years of schooling but no house, no car and no property or farm I can call my own, but only a silly yellowish statement. Excuse me for sounding ungrateful, but that’s it, I am only an official owner of that statement, a paper that is the one thing that determines all the early mornings with lukewarm showers and extreme weather temperatures at times.

Allow me to go deeper, to make it worse, because at 18 years of age, an official adult you call it, I still ask for money to buy bread or dry yeast on some days from my Granny.

So tell me now is that really fair to me, to my grandmother or to the upcoming generation? I bet not, but please don’t be so hard on me, I am really not ungrateful or being difficult, I just believe that I deserve way better than this kind of “Life after matric”, your children too.


Tell us: Do you agree that life is challenging after high school?