Warning: This essay contains a description of assault.

I felt like I was losing my mind, my beer was in my hand and I realised that I had slept on the floor again. My so-called ‘boyfriend’ was sleeping snugly and warmly in bed, he didn’t even bother to take me to bed after I got wasted last night.

I was always getting wasted and my boyfriend was always using me as his punching bag. My whole body was bruised from the sjambok he used on my body, the only thing I shielded was my dear face. I reeked of alcohol. I lost three babies in this man’s hands, all of them through miscarriage. Sometimes I would wonder why he turned into a monster, he was so perfect when we it all started out. I had disobeyed my parents and run away from home to be with him.

I tried to stand but my knees went weak, my head was spinning from all the brandy I had been consuming. Menzi woke up, he looked my way and his eyes bore into mine. I knew what was about to go down. He was angry because I hadn’t come back early, his jaws twitched and I felt like peeing on myself. He was about to have his way with me again.

He took his sjambok underneath the bed.

“Not the sjambok again!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, he put it down while shouting that I stopped screaming. A punch landed on my left cheek and I screamed. The pain was excruciating. A second one landed, this time the blow was stronger that I lost balance and fell on my face. I couldn’t cry anymore, I was too used to the pain. I just groaned in agony.

I crawled to the kitchen trying to get to the exit, he kept kicking me on my back and I would get up and crawl again. He took out a knife from the kitchen, I was sure he was going to end me there and then. He flipped me over and the beer was not too far from my reach. I quickly took it and aimed for his head. Yes the giant groaned falling on his knees dropping the knife. This was my chance to get out of this hellhole. I took the knife and stabbed him more times than I could count, he tried shielding with his hands but I finished him off.

He dropped dead at my feet, I sat there for a couple of minutes admiring my work. I didn’t even feel guilty I was rather pleased with my work, I scoffed loudly, I had killed the man who took life from me.
I covered him with a blanket and went to the police station. On my way I bought beer because I knew it would be my last. Shivers ran down my spine as I entered, everyone looked at me like I was mad. I went straight to the counter.

“I would like to confess a crime,” I said with a shivering voice.

“Sisi sit down and wait like everybody else,” hissed the police officer. ”

“I killed someone, I’m a murderer. I killed my boyfriend, I killed Menzi,” my voice broke, I trembled and I could hear gasps all around the room. They took me to the interrogation room, I told them everything.

I got a reduced sentence, I was given five years inside and three years of house arrest. I felt like a free woman. I felt free, free from every hurt he brought my way. I felt so free because he didn’t even haunt me while locked up in the four corners, a place he loved uttering his wrath behind closed doors in the corners I usually ran to for shield. I was a free woman.


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