A narcissist is the type of an individual or person whose self-love turns them into an arrogant, unsympathetic, and un-empathetic person. These individuals are usually noticed as the ‘Know-it-all’ types. Those individuals who do not want to grasp the perspectives and emotions of other people. Those that do not want to understand where other people come from and manifest their cultural norms, values, or beliefs. If you scored more than two of those attributes you may be a narcissist. However, being a narcissist is not always a bad thing. They tend to be too much loving and caring for other individuals but their way of showing affection may result in detrimental abuse, both emotionally and spiritually to their victims without them realising it.

Many individuals in several households may be at the verge of having to deal with their narcissistic parents without being aware of this as the signs of an individual being a narcissist are often complex and not recognised. Narcissist parents are the type of parents whose self-love masks their love for their loved ones; the type of parents who gaslight their children and drag them to guilt and shame. According to my research and data, not many narcissistic parents notice that they are narcissists and they tend to want to gain control of everything where they feel most vulnerable to change and evolution. Do you think you are dealing with a narcissist parent but you do not know? Well, then this article is just for you.

Here are ways and principles to help you understand and deal with a narcissist parent.
Always create room for them whenever they threaten and taunt your happiness and joy. You have to be very protective with your feelings when you are around your narcissist parents as they may utter words or remarks that may be detrimental to you.

When this occurs, make sure you give your narcissist parents a room for them to be alone and also give yourself the liberty to be in an environment that equates your joy and peace. There is an ancient saying that, “You become what you speak,” meaning that when you speak lies into your life you will live a life of lies and when you speak the truth in your life you will live the life of honesty. Imagine surrounding yourself with pessimistic words that take away from your joy? You end up being the product of the words you hear and the energy you surround yourself with. When a narcissist becomes too harmful to you, all you have to do is peacefully and silently move away from their pessimistic energy.

Always treat them with respect. Everyone deserves respect and kindness no matter how harmful or evil they are to you; you have to respect your narcissist parents and treat them with kindness and love. Showing them respect will not only create a sense of kindness, it will also reflect your truly remarkable character. This makes them aware that you respect morals and when you have respect for your morals you gain respect for yourself and other people.
Don’t be disrespectful in any way towards them, choose to be the overall opposite of what they reflect to you, The delinquency with narcissistic individuals arises from the fact that they are self-centred and they always reckon that their way of doing things is the right way of doing things. They may force you into their ways without “walking a mile in your skin” and understanding your ways. To them it is always ‘my way or no way at all’. Respect them even though they disrespect you and remember; their “perception about you is truly their reflection.”

Try to vent your emotions to them without seemingly complaining. You have to try and talk to your narcissist parents and indicate to them how their actions are harmful to you. Chances are that they might not listen but it is worth a try. Engaging in a conversation with them will aid you in addressing your emotional needs and help them awaken to their toxic actions towards you. Talking has always been the seed of many great ideas, negotiations, and reconciliations. Sit them down and try to reach a compromise with them, making sure the conversation is reciprocal and productive to both you and them.

Have boundaries. Everyone has boundaries that they wouldn’t want to be overstepped. Narcissist parents tend to take advantage of their kids. They may overwork, guilt trip or gaslight you in the name of ‘LOVE’, they get frustrated when they do not get what they want as a narcissist always likes to get their way around things and control them, forming boundaries will be a disclaimer to them to not abuse their ‘parenthood status’.

Be careful to not consume every word the narcissist parents feed you. You are expected as a child to listen to your parents and obey their laws, this is one of the righteous ways to show respect and discipline to your parents. However, narcissist parents may feed your brain with information that will suit their emotional, mental, and spiritual needs while forgetting about your needs. Be true to yourself and who you are, do not calibrate to their reality while they do not want to adjust to yours.

Perceive them as ‘people’ first before you view them as your ‘parents’. In order for you to understand your narcissistic parents you have to understand them as people and not only as parents. We are all God’s children and even our parents are children to God. You will be better informed when you start treating your parents as people, not only as people who gave birth to you and gave your life. Look at their life, what they went through and why they conduct themselves the way they do and in that way, you get to walk a mile in their shoes.

Be an empath towards their unsympathetic behaviour- be empathetic to them even when they say hurtful words to you and act irrationally and abusively, feel and grasp their emotions. Manifesting their emotions will help you understand why they behave in that manner and what they are feeling in that moment. This gesture will not only bring harmony to you all but it will also teach you emotional intelligence and develop your emotional stability. In a way, turn the situation into a lesson instead of a struggle. This will help you grow emotionally, spiritually, and mentally.

To this point, we have analysed how narcissistic parents can be detrimental to their children and gave a bit of advice on how the victims can use their experience to grow and become emotionally strong. Narcissistic people are also human beings and we should seek to understand them and grasp their reality and fuse it with our ‘reality’. 65.4% of households encompass narcissistic parents who are unaware that they are emotionally abusive to their loved ones. In rare cases, these individuals may change and become aware of their narcissistic ways. Children may also be narcissists towards their parents. Below are the ten most notable signs of narcissistic people according to psychologist, Stephen Johnson:

1. Conversation hoarder.
2. Conversation interrupter.
3. Rule breaker.
4. Boundary violator.
5. False image projection.
6. Entitlement.
7. Charmer.
8. Grandiose personality.
9. Negative emotions.
10. Manipulation: Using others as an extension of self.


Tell us: Does this article remind you of any narcissist in your life?