Why would some choose to live all alone? Loss of hope and faith has caused this to me. I had lived better in my past because I had hope and faith. I enjoyed my life just like anyone who lives a fairy tale life.
I was clever as a kid. My childhood was the best that any parent could ever want for his or her child to have. Most of my friends called of Armoue, which I didn’t know what it meant.
I lost hope in 2009. It all started like this:
I fell sick in November; which stopped me from writing my final exams. I had no other choices but to believe that I would repeat my class. But I ended up in a new grade, which I did fail; Grade 10. From the day I got my school report I lost hope. I wanted to be away from people because people had already lost faith in me. I was called by the name Failure from then.
Since 2010 I wanted to be all alone from people. In 2011 I had new classmates who had faith in me. They had no idea about how Grade 10 was like. But together we managed to control our fears. I gained trust, not because I wanted to but because I was given a chance.
From then on things turned out to be perfect. I managed to move back to my old school, Ramatau. It was home to me; my friends and family were there. Hope was what I had all along. Hoping to be home with people I really know from birth.
I had problems with Mathematics in Grade 11 so I could pass all my subjects and I failed it, only. I kept practicing it until I got 28 for the final exam. I wanted to continue with Maths in Grade 12 even when I had no faith in passing it. My teacher advised me to do Math literacy and it turned out to be something that I should have chosen from Grade 10; I was I was good at it.
Some people might say I was giving up. I say it was for the best. Failing does not mean impossible. I believe it means one just chose a wrong ways way of doing something. There are two reasons that made me a fail – not practicing and making the wrong choices.
Lesson two, which is making the right choices, comes with hope and faith. Lessons sometimes come in a hard way but they are not meant to hurt us but to teach us in such ways that we won’t forget.
What we learn from pain we forget not. And it takes support and faith to win.
We are often undermined because of our family’s background. At some places we get to meet people whose families are balanced in their pocket. Almost everything comes so easy for them.
I was, and still not at their level. I get to meet people who live so fancy at school. Having blackberry cellphones, laptops etc. Some bring them to school because they have to, while some have shine with them. Their uniforms are bright and unique. The cloth seems to be from big selling markets.
Well those things don’t matter these days. Many people have hoped to achieve better and they did. I don’t get to see the reason why people lose faith because of what they don’t have.
I fully support those who have hope that everything is going to be alright. As for myself and my classmate there is no difference, we are all the same. Not thinking of our families’ background.
We are there to support and help each other. We all aim to pass at the end of the year.
After a long, hard time, it was exam time. We have all separated to our own ways. I was glad to be done with exams but I’m still in fear of the results. It is sad to repeat a class trust me, I have done it before. The worst part of it is to have new classmates.
This thing crossed my mind: just imagine on the day of the result, everyone runs to get a copy of newspaper. Even those who can’t read buy it. Getting a SMS from a friend in this way;
“whre is ur nym here?”
It is very painful. Mostly people prefer to turn their phones off. It helps to relieve stress. Hoping to get good result. Faith running against our thoughts while others know what they got.