Some say losing her parents in a car accident had driven her mad and they sort of thought she had joined a satanic cult the way she behaved of late. Her name was Zoe Gordon. She lost her parents in a fatal car accident. The worst part was that she was there when it happened. She remembered that day very well.

It was at night. She was sitting on the back seat. It was her birthday. The car fell off to the lake when the car accident occurred. The car submerged underwater as her parents drowned to death.

She held her breath. They were trapped inside the vehicle. Her parents couldn’t hold their breaths. Zoe watched as her parents drowned and died right before her eyes. She had a blackout.

Suddenly she was rescued and rushed her to hospital. Her parents were already dead.

She was in a coma for months and it was much better than being dead. She never attended her parents’ funeral due to her critical condition. Months later, she woke up to discover that her parents were no more and she sobbed heavily.

She did get a chance to see them and say a final good bye to them. She had mixed feelings. Her aunt moved in as her new guardian. She despised that woman, maybe it was because of grief. People grieve in different ways. Some cry and some become angry at the world. Coming out of coma changed her. She was not the same sweet girl she used to be. She was bitter, volatile and aggressive.

She shaved her blonde hair on the sides and dyed it hair black. She wore dark clothes and fishnet stockings, spiked heels and lace skirts. She wore dark eye liner as if she was Cleopatra. She pierced her eyebrow, tongue and finally her bellybutton.

Her nail polish was black as if she was into voodoo.

People began to believe she could be a witch or had joined the Devil’s club. They did not understand she had become a Goth. She had suicidal thoughts and was self-harming, cutting herself, wanting to feel the pain physically since she was feeling numb inside.

She could say, “I am thinking about dying so beautifully with drowning myself, but I feel like screaming as I stab myself to death. Death is beautiful. The coffins and the funeral wreaths mmmh mmmh.”

She was a freak. There was even a time when she was reported as a missing person. She would be later found sleeping at the cemetery. A cemetery is a very spooky place but she spent the whole night there.

Her aunt was concerned about her. Zoe pushed her away. She did not want to be saved.

I think Zoe had a nervous breakdown.

She hallucinated and had flashbacks a lot. She had intense fear more like paranoia that the end was near. She could say her skull decor spoke telling her death is coming in her way. She feared she would suffer the same fate as her folks.

Her aunt had to give this issue to the professionals to handle. Her only niece had become a looney, losing touch with reality.

All I can say is grief can both heal and destroy. Some can get past the grieving process, focusing on their lives and elevating themselves. I am not saying it’s easy to just forget, but sometimes you’ve got to accept that a person is gone and let them go. No CPR or resurrection can revive them. Once they are coldblooded, nothing can warm them.

I lost my loved ones and we all will eventually, throughout our lives. The pen saved me. I could have ended up like Zoe.


Tell us: Have you ever experienced the loss of a loved one? How did you deal with it?