My community is the reason I have this kind of personality. A community is supposed to help you without the need of any pay. A community is somewhat of a builder, which makes sure that you are the best, a person who is always liked more than desired. A community should inspire you, make you feel the luxury in the place that you occupy. None of these factors apply in my community. I feel surrounded by the jealousy of the people in my city.

I live in one of those famous townships, well more of notorious history filled township, near the city of Gold, Johannesburg, which is commonly known as Jozi. The township I live in is called Zola extension two, in a section in Soweto.

I live in an unwelcoming community, a community that has the good images and is well talked about until you put yourself in that kind of terror. I feel like I don’t belong. Freedom? Well you get it. Bad judgements? One thing they seem to be good at is calling you names like “you’re fat”. Gossiping? Oh wow they take the cake. You will cry because of the things they say. They aren’t always positive in my community; they allow you to give up. The day you get away from their opinions is the day you wake up.

I am also one of those victims. I remember one single day when it was spring day. It was a clear day, I had so much energy and I was actually excited about the new beginning of a new season, spring. The sun was shining bright out, with its everlasting heat and brightness. The flowers were back on track, doing their job of decorating, giving this world its natural beauty. I had this friend of mine who I named ‘cutie’. That day I was expecting love and warmth from people, like the one I get from the sun instead I felt like an outsider.

Being the dark bone that I am and she was yellow, they used to call her ‘mellow’. She used to smell so nice and fresh. Being in the shape that I was in, which led to me being called “spiral shaped, shapeless pirate”, which is one of the things that made me feel like I didn’t belong. Whenever I walked with her, they greeted, complimented and admired her only as if like I was her shadow.

She was called a daisy, made me believe that she different. She was smiling in front of my face and hissing for blood like a snake behind my back. Everyone in my community called me names, names you should not call a human being. They treated me like an alien, an outsider and an animal. That’s when I changed and became a beast you’d never have expected. I was a bully at school, it made me feel better and it felt like I finally belonged. Although this only made things worse, the things I did haunted me at night in my luxurious bed, which was the only place where I felt like I belonged.