I am a Thomas. After six full years I can confirm to myself that indeed time waits for no man.

I am in bed trying to recall promises I made to self that I didn’t write down.

I have to fulfil all I said I would, because the clock is ticking, but I suspect that it is accelerating rapidly nowadays.

I have always thought that waking up early brings one fortune. I am very arrogant, don’t be surprised when I say I was not wrong for having that thought, I just did not understand the statement. Remember, I am a Thomas.

How ironic it is, for an early bird to realise something so late. Try, to imagine a learner. An enthusiastic and goal-driven pupil who is the envy of all his teachers.

Nothing was hard for me; I did not know what failing was like. Socially, academically and theologically my peers mentioned my name in the dusty streets, at school and in youth classes at church. I only knew challenges. Did I mention how topsy-turvy I was with challenges?

Six years ago, in grade seven I tried to imagine how and where my life be. The calendar suggested the year 2020, a new decade it would be.

After a few minutes of convincing myself, the proposal my mind had of how my life would be, I came to the conclusion that I would be at tertiary level doing my first year towards a medicine qualification.

Fast forward to the year 2020, a new decade, the imagined year. Things are different. A complete mind revelation has occurred within me.

I stare at my surroundings. In a period of six years a new genre has risen. A new president has been inaugurated, and I didn’t think of it. A coup occurred in an independent country, an event that no one would have ever predicted.

I tried to rejuvenate my arrogance when I was debating with a friend and I realised that it too had left me, when I found myself admitting to him that he was right. For the first time in my post high school life I found myself giving in.

Not receiving expected results made me realise that one should always prepare, even for the worst. In goal settings, we should also find the courage to set for the outcomes and bouncing backs should failure occur.

Should I not have been a doubting Thomas, I would be in the University of Technology chowing course. I was a doubting Thomas. I believed only what I wanted to believe, I only required proof of what others wanted me to believe.

Arrogance starts fire. When the room becomes hot, it leaves. It left me and I got burned. I have accepted reason. The acceptance was made in the early hours, but believe me when I say it was too late.

The acceptance was supposed to be made six years ago. Things aren’t always how they seem. It is no longer about me and my mind, it is now also about others.

I realised and have accepted that we all matter. Allow me another decade to try this with faith, logic and a mind that has no arrogance and self-righteousness. I still want to help the sick.

In the context of one residing in a developing country, it is not the earliest bird that matters, but that one wiseman who prepares for next few hours with 25 back-up plans should plan A fail.

One who is not a Thomas, but one who uses a mind that is just and fair, with faith and logic to reason.


Tell us: do you think you are a Thomas? Why or why not?