I saw Dad today…in hospital. But he’s very positive. He says I shouldn’t stress. “It’s nothing,” he keeps on telling me. Sometimes I wonder how they do it, you know… him and mom, why are they so casual about it? OK, I get it that they’ve known about it for about three months now and it’s still relatively new to me. So, I’m still kinda shocked.

No. In fact, I’m scared.

I’m scared that I might lose my dad. According to some website on the internet, 52 percent of people diagnosed with early-stage lung cancer live for at least five years after diagnosis. On the other hand, the five-year survival rate for people diagnosed with late-stage lung cancer that has spread to other areas of the body is a mere 4 percent. Luckily Dad is the early-stages! Not that that means anything though. He still has to go for more checkups so that the doctors can give him a comprehensive explanation of his situation.

He was not very pleased to see me though. He says I should’ve went to Joburg and “enjoy myself”. How crazy is that!? I mean, how do I even begin to enjoy myself whilst my dad is… I can’t even bring myself to saying the bloody word. My stepmother – Sis’ Zukiswa – is the only one who’s happy to see me. She even came to fetch me at the airport. I think she’s trying to be nice to me. It’s not like I asked her to come fetch me. I could’ve just taken a taxi and that would have been it.

I wouldn’t have had to spend time in awkward silence. OK, I admit she tried to make conversation with me, but I was either too tired or just not in the mood. She asked about college and said something about how “we (me and her) started on the wrong foot” and a lot of other things. After exhausting petty talk, she finally realised I was not in the mood and shut up.

Mom called. We didn’t speak for long. I am still angry at her for keeping this behind my back. She lied to me. But this is not the time for my anger.

I’m just happy that I’m here. Who knows this could be the last days with my dad. It’s about time I get used to that. My dad, like everyone else, is mortal. He’s not the superhero I idolized when I was young. He gets sick like everyone else.

ZZ xxx