I manage to calm myself down as I hear voices in the kitchen. My mom tells the boy to come greet me, it takes a while before he appears on the lounge.

I stand up as he walks in. Oh! It’s not a boy. She’s lesbian. Okay.

“Hi, Lwandle right?” I say, smiling.

She nods and returns my greeting.

We slip into awkward silence, I get a chance to analyze and scrutinize her. I think she’s doing the same, yes look at her, staring at me up and down, I’m shorter than her.

She’s wearing a black Nike cap, a blue denim jean and a black tshirt. She’s lean, not slim. Like, maybe a size 32? She has a caramel complexion, and eyes that are hidden behind a beautiful layer of lashes. Her eyebrows look tweezed and brushed, but that’s just her natural look, she’s got pretty eyebrows that most girls would kill to have.

I look at her and I suddenly think of the word, “Handsome”. She’s not what we call “pretty.” 

Her beauty is so masculine. I don’t know, but yes.

***

We’re sitting in silence when the topic shifts to music. 

After a few minutes I’m singing a Luh Kel song to her, and she’s looking at me intensely.

I’ve noticed that, when I’m talking she’ll look at my lips, focus on them, making me feel self conscious, then when I’m done, she’ll half smile and reply. 

In other instances, she’ll look straight into my eyes, and I’ve never been one for eye contact, so I avoid her gaze as much as possible! I look away, but still find her staring at me.

Doesn’t she know? It’s rude to stare!