After cooking, I lay down on the couch and start counting down the hours and minutes, till Mphikiseni gets back. I read the magazine in front of me and I get lost in the moment.

I feel a movement inside me, then another movement. I throw the magazine away and sit on the edge of the sofa. I listen and wait again. What is happening? I put my hand on my belly and close my eyes.

This time, there is no mistakening it, this baby just moved inside me! I instantly spring up, my whole body shaking and my heart beating hard. I walk to the tap and gulp down water, after doing so, I now feel the kicks in my stomach coming down like fists, hard and fast.

I can literally see the dress I’m wearing, moving under the pressure. How? This baby was dead. What was moving inside of me.

The movements suddenly stop and I walk back to the couch, with a glass of water.

I sip slowly, and unwillingly I cry. I wail so much for the life lost. My son, would’ve been crawling around the place by now. Touching and exploring everything he saw.

I look up and spot my husband coming in, he looks disorientation. He wipes his forehead with his palm, even though he isn’t sweating.

“MaZulu, are you okay?” He asks, as he sees me crying.

I look up at him, I’ve been waiting for him to come home, so I could tell him about what took place earlier on.

“Mzilikazi. It’s.. the baby.” I choke.

“What baby?” He frowns and takes out the plates, so he could dish for us.

“Our baby. I think he moved inside me today.” I bite my lip, and wait for his answer.

He looks at me and sighs, he raises his eyebrows and opens his mouth

“That things isn’t a baby..I don’t know why you..” He stops talking when he realizes the hurt in my eyes.

He sighs and walks over to me, he kneels and cups my face.

“MaZulu, our son is dead. Please. I’m gathering money to have you operated. I found a doctor who can do the operation, it’s expensive. But I need you to be free.” He sighs and glances at me. “You’re having the surgery next month.” He stands up and goes back to the pots.