I have spent so many years going from treatment to treatment and experiencing tremendous pain over and over again and now I am being told that the one thing I thought it was gone was not gone.

“At this point you have to consider getting surgery for both your breasts, because it is growing and it growing stronger now more than before, the only way to stop it from spreading to the rest of your body is to consider surgery abd removing both your breasts.”

My heart stopped for a second or two there, cutting my breasts have been the one thing I was opposing, I had lost my hair and now I am about to lose the one thing I never in my life wanted to lose. “No.” I say shaking my head as I get up from the chair. “No.” The tears that I have been holding back for so long came rushing out “I can’t.”

“I can give you time to think about it but don’t take too long.” I rushed out of the office barely seeing where I am going and opened the huge glass door and took a deep breath the minute I got out and felt the wind slap me on my face. My mother came out rushing from the car and lifted up my head “What’s wrong?”

“The tumor, it is back.”

My mother pulls me in her arms and wraps me tightly “So, now we have to consider the surgery option?”

I nodded still wrapped in my mother’s arms, on our way back it was filled with silence. there was sarcasm or my goofing around, I felt hollow inside.

I rushed to my room the minute the car parked and locked myself inside and curled like a ball on the bed as I cried myself to sleep.