I cried for so many days, my heart just refuse to heal. I still have not deleted his numbers, I find myself calling his number and listening to his voice message.

I sit on the swing at the park and look at everyone as they go about their day as if they don’t feel that the world had gone grey ever since Mbongeni passed.

I even feel sorry for them for having not met the happiest guy I have ever met, who always stayed true to himself and always knew how to put a smile on my face.

I even thank God that he had at least given me a chance to be able love and be loved like that.

I watched as the people strolled on the park, some having picnics and I was just watching with a broken heart.

If Mbongeni was here he would have made some lame joke to get me to smile or we could just be sitting in silence and just watching, that was one of the nice things about spending time with Mbongeni he never made silence feel awkward.

Sometimes love just finds you so unexpected or at times when the world is falling apart, and you are just standing in the middle of the chaos not knowing where to go or where to turn and love just comes and envelopes you under its protectiveness.

I never believed in love, but Mbongeni made it look so easy, I guess love is sweet like that it never leaves you wondering or questioning where you stand cause you just know, it is as easy as that.

Some day in the near future I will heal, I will think of Mbongeni and not cry, I will someday gather the strength of going to his grave and I will someday be able to smile again and breath without feeling like my heart is about to explode on my chest, I will reminisce on the memories we have made together and smile through all of them and not feel sad.

I will wait for that day, that day when my heart stops feeling heavy, and my smile stops feeling forced. I will just be.

I will miss him in each and every day that I wake up on each and every single second. But I will take each day as it comes and I will grieve for as long as I can because there is no time placed in the universe for one to stop mourning the person you once loved, and they have soon left.

I take a deep breath and push myself a little bit on the swing, I look at the bracelet he gave me which is dangling on my wrist at least I have a piece of him on me which I will always keep close to me, and his jacket rests on my shoulders and it still smell like him even though he is not here, I feel him, I feel his presence and I know his spirit is here with me.