Police took me home, where I rested a bit. It was about 2 am. In the morning, I went to the hospital to be examined and returned some paper to the police station. He was out on free bail. He begged for forgiveness, and I forgave him. Two months later, I gave birth to a baby boy by C-section. When my son was a month old, I went back to school. I have spent so much time alone that I had enough time to plan my future and ask myself what I want in life. I took the decision to go back to school while I was still pregnant. I just didn’t tell anyone; well, I had no one to tell. I registered without telling him, and one lovely weekend, we were watching TV, and I said, “Oh, I forgot to tell you tomorrow I’m going to school”.

” Did they call you at your son’s school? He asked.

“No, my mom registered me into abet, and I’m starting tomorrow, I lied.

” Just like that? He asked with a confused look.

“Yes, just like “, that I responded. I didn’t give him space to give me permission. I was just informing him. I went back to school; he stayed home with our son, who was a month old. This bothered him so much he called a family meeting and a few Neighbors to ask them what kind of a mother leaves a newborn baby and goes to school. Can’t I go to school next year? In that meeting, I didn’t even hear who said what cause I didn’t want to hear. No one can change my mind whether they say I don’t love my child. Still, I will go to school.

I got used to him swearing at me, telling me how I like to be seen by lectures, how I reject my motherly duties. One evening, I sat on the couch, I spoke to myself, I visited the real me and spoke to her.

“What are you still doing here, Philisiwe? I can’t leave him; I would be a laughing stock in our neighbourhood”. Knew some people were just waiting for me to leave him. It was quite in the house; he had not bitten me for months. I felt a great relief that day as I decided to leave him for good. I got up, quickly packed my things, loaded them in a wheelbarrow, and went to my house. I felt it in me that I was leaving for good. Later, he came back from work and found no one. He called and said

” don’t be angry when you find another woman in this house”.

“I wish you all the best, ” I said.

Leaving him was the best thing I have done for myself. I went back into business. I started living my life again. Went back to church. After I completed my abet, I got a bursary to study at Springfield College, where I did my diploma in Educare . It feels good being me again. I’m confident; I’m happy from within. I’m doing what I love. I have peace. My children are happy.