******* Interlude*******

I was walking out for the first time in a while just to shop for groceries as usual. I often do so late at night to avoid meeting people.

I hate people and I hated God for creating me just for a social experiment to see how much man can withstood pain.

” I’ve had enough of this, goodbye

Rape victim, slay victim, take victim (Ayy)

I woke up with the knife in my hand, ayy, ayy

To murder the bitch was the plan, ayy, ayy

I will never suffice, feelings are abundant

Many men are of a dying breed

Plunge a knife into his throat

And suck the blood of human out in case it’s dangerous

Wait

Wait

Our father hollowed be thy name

I observe the father, walk into an alley

Probably going just to take a piss (Yeah)

Slowly, surely, I will take position

Without hesitation, I will grab his wrists (Yeah)

Chop him, buck him, fuck him

I will stab him (Ayy), splat him, drag his body (Yah) all across the map (Yeah)

Shower in his fluids, kiss him, bite him (Yah), eat him

Threw a fit (Yah), and then I take a nap (Wow)

Butterflies, kidney stones (ay)”

A: “shut the hell up”

” Your horrible voice is melting my brain”

“You don’t have a brain, you’re incorporeal” I said with a snicker

I couldn’t resist the snicker, I knew he hated listening to me sing but I couldn’t resist annoying him, his voice always reminded me I am lonely, but never alone.

Everyone I ever loved either, died, rejected me or left me but he was always there with me. He criticized me but never left.

He always reminded of how much of a failure I was but never left me.

He often told me how much he hated, but never left me.

He stayed with me and followed me where I go, When I am outdoor or inside the most private rest room.

A: “But I seem to think much better than you without it”

“True” I replied with a loud laugh

“What do you think of women?” I asked him.

I knew what answer to expect, he has told me the same thing over and over again, but I always loved listening to him say it and it reminded how evil women are and stay clear of them.

A: “A burning flame, a yawning wolf, a croaking raven, a grunting wild boar, a tree with shallow roots, mounting waves, a boiling kettle, a flying arrow, tide on the ebb, new ice, a coiled snake, a bride’s pillow talk, a sword with a hairline, a playful bear, the sons of a king, an ailing calf, a stubborn thrall, a witch’s flattery, a fresh corpse, a chance encounter with your brother’s murderer, no man should be such a fool as to trust these things but he should trust them before believing the heart of a woman. The heart of a woman turns like a whirling wheel induced with caprice.

“To trust a fickle woman is like setting out on ice with a two year old colt or sailing a ship without a rudder.” I added

“Thank you friend”

A:”I’m not your friend”

I laughed like a mad man, few people turned to look at me. No matter how much I heard it, it amuses regardless.

He hated when I called him my bestfriend, he always reminded me he can never be friend with someone as useless as me, I mostly laugh it off.

He was a gift I got from almost drowning or almost mudered to be precise which left me aquaphobic.

The Physical and health Education curriculum enforces all students to learn aquatic skills by the end of year six. A skill I wasn’t interested in.

I always hated swimming pools, it was a liquid form of a school bus which I also loathe. Swimming in all those germs wasn’t something I was enthusiastic about, so I often stand at the edge of the pool and watched on. It was the the least I could do to avoid punishment.

I stood on the edge of the pool as usual and watched the others swam on. I felt someone pushed me and fell into the pool with a splash.

It was so cold and dark, a moment that still haunt me at night. I have never learned nor attempted to swim and started drowning immediately.

I could see the son of the PE teacher and the school bully Reynolds, laughing loudest among the others laughing, the PE teacher also joined the merriment while I drowned on. I tried my best to survive, throwing my hands and legs however I can but it was to no avail. Slowly, I felt life drain out of me as everything turned dark.

I woke up to the face of PE teacher among others trying to resuscitate me. He said to me what will forever stain my memory. ‘You almost died because you were weak, I believe strongly the weakest links should be eradicated. I saved you because I can’t have you die on my watch. You disgust me.’ he said before he spat on me, the same words I said verbatim to his son, Reynolds before I drowned him 7 years later. I tied his hands and legs behind him and asked him to swim, I watched with glee as he struggled to survive till he drowned.

My friend spoke to me the first time on my way home. He said ‘He spoke the truth, you are so weak and deserve to die for it. He isn’t the only on disgusted by the sight of you’. I checked to see who spoke but there was nobody in sight.

I thought I was I was mad at first, but later realized…… My friend is nameless, he is faceless, he is bodiless, he is nothing but a voice.

A voice that lives forever in my head….

I walked around shop picking groceries I needed while I sang. I kept checking the list to make sure I didn’t miss anything. I was the only one in the shop with the cashier, just like I prefered. I hated being around people why I preferred shopping late at night. It was very quiet except for the sound of drpping water, whose source I was oblivious to and the ever screaming voice in my head.

A: “You need a list for groceries less than 5. How dumb are you.”

I walked to the counter after picking all the groceries and handed it to the cashier.

A: look at her expression, it’s a look of disgust. she is probably wondering how someone can be as useless as you are. She sees you as the dirt you are.

I stared at her face, there was a look of disgust plastered on it as she scanned my groceries. I was a bit angry. What did I do to deserve a look of disgust.

“Your bill is $20.99” she said handing back the groceries

A: “The loathe in her voice is so plain. Nobody loves you, not even the cashier wants to see your gut. What a miserable life.:

I handed her a wad of cash

Something caught my eye, there was something strangely familiar about the girl walking by. I went to the window to get a better. She was walking hand in hand with an unknown man. I felt pure rage. It was first time I was seeing her in a long time after she rejected me.

A: of course, she’s with someone better than you. Can you ever fathom the idea of pro creating with someone like you. When was the last time you look into the mirror, I mean without breaking it.

I tried to go though the door to trail her.

“The money is not complete, short of $4 to be precise” she said

“I knew there was something ominous about you and how you always came at night”

“You think I’m an easy target because I am a woman, wrong choice buddy”

“You better hand over the rest of the cash or drop the groceries before I call the cops”

A: Now you are trying to steal. How more pathetic can you be.

I handed her the rest of the cash and stepped out of the shop. I follow them from a distance. They seem stuck in their tought and were quite oblivious to anyone being on their trail. I stopped at a distance and watched them bade each other goodnight.

Is he the reason she rejected me, she never showed me this side of her.

I was very angry and irritated. She is going to pay for that!

I dipped my hand into my pocket for my knife. I was glad to see it was still there.