I had to go home with that painful headache and I was also afraid what will my grandparents say …I did not sleep at home and am a mess but hey, I arrived at home and my granny was so fierce that I did not at home.

I apologized to her and promised I would never do that again and grandad on the background was like “o lebetse hore next year ke le Matric…”oh God!I said am sorry folks, I went to bed and rest.

I was actually not lying when I was promising granny that It will never happen again because I now had to focus more so that I pass my matric with good marks so that I get accepted to higher institutions.January came where I had to work hard more to my school work even though it was still tough…..no lunchbox,no money e.t.c.

Grandad was aware that it’s a bit tough for me and he will tell me how strong I am that I managed till grade12 .A year is nothing especially when you are busy with something on daily basis.I enjoyed my grade 12 class .It was the best class ever ,I still smile when I think of former classmates, they were so funny and we were like family until I got sick in class,I can still remember the subject was Mathematics class….I felt nausea, dizzy and hot at the same time .I did not know what to do so that’s when my desk mate told our Maths teacher am not feeling well.

I had to go home early,I did not even see road that day as I just wanted to get home,found granny told her am not well.

The following day granny accompanied me to the clinic,I was so weak and we had to wait for the doctor on the que.I just wanted to get helped and be okay because there’s so much school work to do I am in matric.I hate ques but we stood there till late and the doctor called us in….she gave me a cup to fill it with my urine ,I was surprised it’s for what but ey…..I did what the doctor wants,while we were waiting for the results the doctor asked me weird questions that u could not answer infront of granny. Things like “do you have a boyfriend?….how can I answer that infront of granny though so I decided to be calmly silent.

Granny didn’t seem to be worried with the weird questions from the doctor, we just heard the doctor humming…’oh my God!’my heart said ,beating so fast because I couldn’t wait to hear the problem so that it can be cured and I will be able to focus back on my books.

“The results says you are pregnant ….”said the doctor ,I just didn’t know what to do or to say. 

The pain that stabbed my heart was so tough…..I felt like removing it from my chest.I felt like the world was spinning to fast for me,coming to think of my family what are they gonna say,I disappointed them so MUCH!.The time I take a look at granny she was so down I could see the burden or disappointment I brought to her heart.She was not talking to me on the way home,I think she was shocked until we got home.I still remember grandad was waiting for us on the gate to open it and he looked at me and said”le tsamaile Jang?o siame?” I couldn’t even look at him,granny said “Mmathapelo o imile…mobotse” I felt like my life ended there.

I was not even able to answer him……he said to me “look calm down young lady,don’t stress ,don’t loose that hope ….the PAIN ONLY MAKES YOU STRONGER, so just be more stronger it’s gonna be fine ….just focus on your school work,it’s better you are on your last class that needs you to focus so that you go study further for you and your child”I really couldn’t believe he would react like that towards me ,I still love and honor him even today.I made sure I bear those words till I write my final matric exams.I always told myself everyday that the challenge that I come across at school that causes me pain ….It only make me strong till I had to go to labor.

Godis great all the time …..I did it ,it was on the 24th November 2017 it was Black Friday when my handsome son was born.I was left with my last paper to write on the following week Monday.I arrived at home with my boy on Saturday, I had to study for Monday exam and also I practiced myself to walk with those painful stitches,granny was so worried she even offered me taxi but I refused….I was happy,I had hope and I felt much strong ,I told her the pain am feeling will make me face that last paper with courage and happiness.Monday morning I woke very early to prepare myself slowly and in time to school….I walked with those painful stitches slowly until I got at school.Everyone was happy that day because it was our last paper in high-school.I wrote Setswana so nice and enjoyable without being shy because I had to write standing ….I did it with courage till I finished and went home to my son and family.Granny really couldn’t believe I managed that walk to and from school on that condition,but ey I did it.

That festive season I bonded with my baby boy so much and I love him more than anything in the world.

January 2018 we got our matric results ,we had to go to garages and wait for newspapers for our results.We stood there the whole night it was so cold that night but I couldn’t wait to have a look to my results.The newspapers arrived in the morning……I still remember we were pushing each other to look for our results others screamed because of happiness.I took the newspaper and looked for my student Number there it was I Passed ,oh!God the happiness that came into my heart was like I found a diamond, I worked hard for my son and family I couldn’t wait to arrive at home and show them.I was happy and arrived at home I showed them…..’I passed!”I screamed as I hug my grandparents and son….I had a little tears of joy during that hug.Grandad just looked at me with a smile ….and my heart said”THAT PAIN ONLY MADE YOU STRONGER “.

The work of  PAIN to our lives is to make us stronger.