I always questioned myself why my family is rural while everyone relating closely to them was in the city. Was I really made to be Cinderella in a situation like that. Will I fall in love or do I have hatred, was I the ugliest or was my father the most hated from his siblings. I hated my life.

I am not a lover, I am a serial killer and questioner of life I thought to myself, “I don’t have a life”

I practised not studying but to study at home. I have never had a father figure with all the nightmares I had even having a father figure would disappear when life decided to start over again. Home learning meant I stay at home and allow everyone who is meant to leave to go. It meant feeding on natural resources, probably to eventually becoming a vegan in this farm home if that is what is haunting me.

It meant I should learn everything I was meant to learn on the outside while at home, using all the family support while they are far so as to leave this phase.

There is alot to learn at home, you learn the cork trying to signalize the morning then the morning dawn will appear after. You learn seeding and irrigation systems. You learn basic farming and basic construction. Then the sun goes down there is mist on the grass the herd must come home then.

I learned and it was hard. “Vuo come here” my mother would call me. “You should learn to be humble, the world is looking over you and I sense good coming over”. My mother was somehow spiritually gifted but has never mentioned it, I would listen attentively to her verses and her talking about God but to actually tell her “I saw God he came to me”. I never I’d listen and watch her go to church every Sunday paying church funds even though they meant nothing to us, we have never slept with empty stomachs because of church tax. I just didn’t tell her of my visions or nightmares just like I didn’t tell her why I stopped going to church. I just richest an age where I felt I don’t afford maybe or working hard far or on a phase or worried that at least someone should go to protect the house. I had no idea why but it was important.

I believed in her what else was I to beleive in it was my home and God came first.

Our neighbor was from another clan but was close like family to my mother. I hardly made friends with anyone first of all I knew they do not exist. There are four yards on my neighborhood I am mostly related to all of them. I am in a mission to survive and leave or die on my bed.

I may have lived for a thousand years in this place if didn’t count like a calender. Then suddenly one day the community wanted a teacher coming from the neighborhood specifically from my home to teach them how to survive in this community. I learned at home, how to cook, wash dishes clean, comb hair dress and pamper. I was selected and additionally my asexual lifestyle of staying at home and maybe spice it to LGBT.

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*Don’t you think this is thee coolest school ever?*