The following morning was a Friday Nonkwe’s abakhozi were going to arrive at her home Saturday and I had to wear the second sister outfit and cover our faces or her daughter who was about my age was going to do it. It’s been years I’ve been there, this village grass grows longer a Xhosa phrase which means my stop nonsense/ yard wall is so tall that I hardly see my neighbors.
I was last there when I was probarbly 10 or less because as umfazi my mother had to drag me with her because tell will prepare umqombothi and make traditional loaves for traditional ceremonies. It was just like church and Inkciyo after 10 years I was making my own rules and preferred to marry a woman. I longed for a lesbian big wedding where everyone would be happy for me, happy for my achievements and understand me deeply, to actually understand my emotions, we have lived in oppression of men and straight women that I somehow believe one gets that knowledge from their parents, oppression of man that are automatically known to be marrying a women and leaving a question for oppressed women like myself who don’t ussually have everything already done in the world for them.
I wanted to kill myself, my cousin’s would kill themselves if they knew, they would kill their baby daddies. I called a student at lunch break to ask Dolly to come to my office.
“Sis’Vuo” she walked quietly to the office and sat on the chair.
“I don’t want anyone hearing what I am going to say.” I got up talking to close the door, clapping my hand while smiling showing enthusiasm. ” is everyone ready for tomorrow?”
She smiled, “tomorrow is Saturday, we are not coming to school tomorrow”
I figured she didn’t know about the lobola negotiation ceremony.
“ Oh, Uhm tomorrow we are going to go to Nonkwe’s home for a Lobola negotiation ceremony tell your mom and grandma. I think they know by now. How well do you know sis’Nonkwe? You said Nelly her eldest daughter is older than you, right?”, I was just thinking again maybe the postman went to her home too but since they are kids they wouldn’t know. Not everyone had visions like myself.
“ Ya, Nelly is a little older than me. Sis’Nonkwe well I stay at home most of the time and we hardly meet even with Nelly, I’ll let Makhulu know” she said something I’d probarbly say too.
“oh, well now can you open up to me about love, affection, emotion, your assumption of women who love women in a remote world, where there is peace and equity would you use your time and effort to love a women setting aside history of another person like an icon who had a heartbreak like Winnie Madikizela. Would you love a woman if you were rich and everyone was getting married like Nonkwe?”, I asked her looking in her eyes emotionally.
“ Sis’Vuo I don’t have enough money to bribe a man to love me, if he leaves me I will be a joke to society. My mother never got married and to think something like sis’Nonkwe happening to mam’Lizzy I don’t think so Ma’am. To be honest I am not playing man I need to budget to be respected by a man.”, she said that again repeating just playing but never sleep with men just trying to see as if she is scared at some point.
“ Budget!!! Lizzy, I mean Dolly you are not your mother, this school is allowed for bisexuals we keep you at queer phase 1 and pass when you are lesbian/bisexual but the mendate is to get married and once. There are people we communicate with who have necessary skills for you, you can’t come here because I’m here or it’s safe. Would you YES/NO marry a man?”,
“Uhm, Uhm “ she mummered words.
“Fine then you are bisexual, since you can’t imagine a rich world, we have everything nature here but you will marry only once and not change your mind, for your own good”, I said pointing her with a pen.
I have never been that strict to my students. I asked her to go to her classroom, she got up and left.
The following day it was amalobolo. I looked at the sun glowing birds singing that day, the air was cool and I could smell the wet soil, the grass was pale green the ceremony went well.
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*Do you think Vuo will ever have visions again? *