Manqoba carried on with his ‘work trips’ and i carried on just trying to please my husband and work. I mean it started to sink in that he’s probably doing this since i was now infertile and of course his mother was going to push him to the next best thing. Well the only best thing since i wasn’t good enough for her and cannot carry her grandchildren.

 

When the time came for us to head to his home for the ceremony of his niece, he was very strange, in a way i couldn’t put my finger in. When we were on the road he would casually look at his phone, ignoring phone calls and say casually that the calls were from potential scams or spam and i brushed it off. The calls continued for a couple of minutes then he switched off his phone and that too i ignored. When we arrived at his home the drive way was full and parking was difficult to be found so Manqoba dropped me in front of the gate whilst he promised to drive two streets down the road to his uncle’s place to park the car and he left. I walked in the yard and everyone looked at me and i thought to myself it’s probably because im white and dressed in Zulu traditional attire as the theme was traditional. As soon as i walked to the kitchen everyone was busy and some of the ladies in the kitchen were new faces to me. I looked for Manqoba’s mom to announce our arrival but didn’t find her. I went back to the kitchen to assist but was totally ignored and brushed off. Thandekile walked in and her presence was just given full attention. She gracefully did every task and was complimented. I looked at her until my eyes were weighing her down then she turned towards my direction and looked down.

“Why are you giving her respect in your husband’s house Thandekile”, one of the women say looking at me clearly disgusted by my presence.

“Aunt stop”,the girl said trying to hush her forward aunt,

“Your husband? you’re marrying the last born?” i asked folding my hands.

“No Snow White she’s marrying the oldest Manqoba. Not that is even any of your business. Now stop making my niece feel intimidated in her in laws house.” Her aunt added. As soon as she said that i felt my heart drop.

“Well as far as i can remember i am Manqoba’s wife”, i said showing her my ring finger. “I don’t remember there being a second one and best left alone. If i see you near my husband i will skin you alive” i said slowly moving towards her.

“Liar!” she yelled while her niece was breaking down.

“What exactly am i going to gain from lying? If you value your life Thandekile you’ll do what’s good for you”, i turned to her aunt, “Next time get your facts straight before you get hurt” i said before walking out of the kitchen and walking out of that exact same yard. I was furious. I walked to the near by river. I sat on a big rock and tried to figure why in the hell were they even plastering Thandekile as the wife of the eldest son. I mean i am sure my husband didn’t agree to the nonsense his mother suggested in the first place i mean even if so he would have told me. But he was seen with her countless of time during his work trips. Now just thinking that infuriated me, i stood up and walked back. On the road back i started calming down. When i got to his home i met him by the gate trying to calm Thandekile down and i walked right past him and went to his room and got the car keys and stashed them in my boobs. Walked of his room and carried on like nothing happened. The ceremony went well as the rain rained hard after it. Her grandparents and parents were delighted. After the guests left, we were summoned by Mr Khumalo i sat down on the floor on a mat along side Zanele. What happened next shocked me. Thandekile and her nosy aunt along side a couple that looked old enough to be her parents. She was ordered to sit next to me as she is soon to be the future daughter in law. Wife to my dearest husband. The smirk on her aunt’s face was clearly visible. Probably felt like a victory after the tantrum i threw in the kitchen a couple hours ago. She sat next to me and kept her eyes on the floor.

“You must be wondering why we are all gathered here” , Mr Khumalo said grabbing his wife’s hand.

“You see Thandekile over here was insulted in her in law’s house” he quickly added looking towards my direction.

“That sort of behaviour is unacceptable in the Khumalo household”, his wife quickly added as well assuring the concerned parents.

“And the white ghost claimed to be his wife.” Thandekile’s aunt finally spoke after debating whether she should add or not.

“White ghost?”, my husband asked.

“Yes” the aunt justified herself.

“The white ghost is my wife. If she will not be addressed properly then i believe we should leave. What do you mean my wife? I did not agreed to the insane idea mom suggested.”

“You do not have a choice. Your mother gave me more details and the amount of times she keeps miscarrying was another concern” his father answered a bit cold

“So you married me to the next best thing?” He asked clearly furious. “Clearly my opinions are not important in this house”

“I raised you better than that. We have company” his mom snapped.

“Company you have involved in my life without my consent. My wife and i will not be bullied into a polygamous marriage” He snapped too

“We are not getting any younger. We need grand kids” His father said.

“Zanele gave you a grandchild. Not everything will move in your pace. Im sorry but unfortunately i will not proceed with this. Thandekile is not my wife. You can take her and make her your second wife dad”

“That is enough! You will remain married to Thandekile and give us grandchildren. Or you lose your shares” His father roared. Fear was visible in the eyes of the brothers.

The tension got thick. My husband stood up.

“If that’s what you want”, he then pulled his hand out for me to grab. “I will gladly walk away. Have a nice life” I stood up and walked out behind him.

 

I did not except that. I mean he was seen countless of times with her. He still chose me. When we got to the car in his uncle’s house. I took out the keys from my bra. We got in the car and drove.

“Sthandwa sami (My love)” he finally said after an hour of silence. “Ngiyaxolisa (Im sorry) for what happened there.”

“Its okay, thank you for choosing me.”

“Girl, if you had a twin i would have still chose you”

I smiled. When we got home i immediately started on dinner. I received a call from my best friends.

“Hey girl, wait aren’t you supposed to be at your husband’s home” Lizzy asked.

I sighed and filled them in.

“Oh my God, im so sorry. You have a major case of a monster in law” Mary said.

“A big one” Lizzy added.

“How about we head out to Cape Town for a weekend away” Lizzy suggested.

“Yeah plus we never got to celebrate our graduations and getting jobs” Mary added.

I sighed, “But im a wife. Also a designer. I want to do another fashion show.” i informed them.

“But you also need to let loose” Mary sympathized.

‘They are right honey, you need the getaway” My husband said standing by the door with his hands on his pocket.

“Yes tell her” Lizzy cheered.

“Okay okay im in” I said and Mary sighed.

“Thank God we’ll text more for details. For now bye” Mary said before disconnecting.

“I’ll check hotels in the meantime. Bye Khumalos” Lizzy said.

“You know i love you right?” he asked me while wrapping his arms around me.

“I love you more” i smiled.

When dinner was ready, i dished up and dug in.

“Honey what do you think about adoption?” I asked looking at my plate afraid of his reaction.

“Adoption? Really?” H said in disbelief. And right there it hit me that i messed up.

“Just that i really want us to have a baby and since i can’t have any. Im looking at options”

“Look babe, i don’t want to raise another man’s baby. I rather not have a baby” He said sternly.

“How about a surrogate then? That way it can be our baby with you-”

“Can we have this conversation another time not during dinner” he cut me off. I sighed.

“Okay, im sorry” then the silence loomed the dining table.

Day after day he would dodge the topic. Even after the weekend getaway with my girls he still dodged it. Days turned into weeks, weeks into months our third anniversary was creeping close. The idea of us adopting a child on our anniversary was getting very slim. I did my second fashion show. My work was admired by international fashion collectors. But i was unhappy. Lizzy my best friend was expecting her first child. Something that i was yearning. I quickly fell into depression. Not that i was jealous of her, of course not she was my best friend. Just that my husband was not seeing the bigger picture. I was even afraid of raising the issue because he shuts me down for weeks. I celebrated our anniversary alone as my husband chose to sleep out clearly running away from the idea of parenting another man’s child.