Okay so we walk into the house, Ta Ma- V (Siviwe) is going to ask which for tge one we want… I point the gun and pull the trigger and we leave, simple. The only thing is that it wasn’t as simple as it seemed. This was the plan, this was the job. I spent the whole night trying to justify what I’m going to do soon… remember that I need to prove myself. I was handed a gun in a red Edgars plastic covered in a shirt. The guy who came to me made it seem so sleek what he did. He came and wrapped his arm around me, “Mshana ka Uncle” he said with a grin. “We haven’t spoken in a while, Noodles told me I’d find you here” he said. As soon as he said he was sent by noodles I knew that this was the job.

“Your Aunt bought some clothes for you at Edgars, you should try them on when you get home and ask Ma-V to take a picture of you in them.” He said as he winked and smiled away. He left and the ladies in the taxi knew something was up but they couldn’t make much of the conversation.

I know the woman we’re sent to, I know the one who sent us. A lady, married to a famous somebody who is a player. I mean when you cheat on your wife, you wouldn’t do it with a famous music artist. The Wife knows where the husbamd is going this Saturday and she wants her to die in front of him. He won’t have a choice but to explain what he was doing there in the first place.

We walk in, silence everyone and ask for the side chick. We shoot her and leave. The husband will know it’s the wife who sent us… he’ll have to do the cleaningup himself.

I’m terrified… today is D-day and I’m telling my friend this coz I just have a bad feeling about it. I keep reminding myself about iziyalo, I keep reminding myself about why I need to do this. This is why I’m asexual, why have a wife and kids if you can’t protect them? I’m scared but when I tell my male friends about things like this they just say ” it’s being a man.” Why do men in our country not have safe spaces to speak about their troubles? That’s another form of abuse. All that’s ringing in my head is my grandfather’s voice saying “Makwedini Sabelani.”