Yunno there nothing heartbreaking like your own mother not loving you. There’s nothing that makes your heart bleed like being told hurtful words. My whole life I’m always told that my father dejected me because he always new I was a bad omen in everyone’s life. My whole life I’ve always questioned myself “why was I born”, “why did God allow me to be born”, “was I born to suffer”, “will I ever experience peace”.

There’s nothing that makes me question my paternity like my sufferings. I can’t stop until I end my life so that I can no longer feel pain. I’ve suffered enough and when I get hurt I hide my pain with my endless laughter and smile. Noone knows the pain I’m going through and noone doesn’t care. I’m always told that I’m mistake, that I should have died.

There’s nothing I wish than to die. I feel like I’m the reason my father dejected me cause that’s what I’m always made to feel. I just wish there was a planet I could go to and hide from the world, where no human exist. My whole life I was dejected cause of whom I am that brought me nothing than sadness. I wish I could fly away and live in the sky where I live freely without being insulted.

There’s nothing heartbreaking like being thrown out of the only place you take as your home. I’ve been thrown out countless times but there’s nowhere I could go. If I knew a place I could go I would’ve packed up my clothes long time ago and went away, I was never going to look back.

To my own family I’m like a leech.They detest me like I’m a bacteria and virus. To them I’m non-existent cause there’s nothing like me in their family. Imagine the hate you pass through to just survive and have a place to stay.

The life I’m living I’m not wishing it to anyone. Imagine going to bed in pain and crying to God whom abandoned you long time ago. I’ve prayed and begged for my life to change or God to just take me. There’s no use living to just cry and suffer. It’s not like I’m living for someone. God took the only person I could cry to, the only person who accepted me the way I am.

I’m Tired of always crying. Begging and is no longer in my dictionary cause there’s nothing to beg for. If someone says hurtful words I just accept them cause there’s nothing I can do. I never wish for anyone to experience a mother’s hate cause it breaks one’s soul. It broke me into pieces that I don’t wish to repair cause I’m broken beyond repair.

My own mother doesn’t want to be anywhere I am. She doesn’t even want to share a house with. Imagine your own mother who birthed you telling you that they wish you could just die. Imagine being told that your death will bring peace to many people’s life.