As you know life doesn’t always becomes the way one fantasies about , I went through alot and I don’t even wish my biggest enemy to go through the same. I always wanted to smile freely and be open but all of that seems like an Impoasible task. My life is something I wish noone to live and experience everything I went through. My mind and imaginations became my biggest fears and my worst nightmares.

I’m an overthinker the biggest on that , there’s no day that goes by without overthinking . I’m always drowning in my thoughts thinking about the worst and I always wish to never wake up and face reality. My life was never honey and butter it is always filled with bitterness , sadness, loneliness, depression and anxiety.

Nothing can fix a broken heart even being around people won’t cause at the end of the day you will be left alone and goes back to your life. I’ve had my fair share in pain but yunno I always feels like my pain is not enough. I just want to lie in the hospital bed with machines surrounding me deep on coma not facing the world and facing my family and mourn my life.

I’ve given up as there’s nothing to live for. The only person I used to feel like she there for me through thick and thin was just in my life for a lil time. She has her own friends whom she cares about more than she does to me cause to her I’m just the broken girl she doesn’t even feel like being around.

Our friendship was fun and good at first until she relocated and things took a different turn. The spark was always there when we met but things was different we were not like before. Life together used to be interesting , we were inseparable and noone I mean noone even my mom could separate us cause I sticker with her. But her, she can’t cause her famy comes first to her.

There’s nothing I hate like sharing cause sharing taught me things in life. There are things you can share but you can’t share your best friend cause it’s meant to only be for you but we can’t choose fate of others as ours are chosen for us. My fate and destiny was long chosen for me before I was born cause the things that are happening on my life are unpridictable

You see in life your own happiness must matter but mine doesn’t cause I have non left. My happiness long vanished when I started to experience pain. Why should I become happy when there’s nothing to live for. Why Must I try to make others happy when my happiness doesn’t matter to them.