Introduction

I never experienced love from both my parents. I’m sure it’s one of the reason I’m whom I think I am actually I’m introverted self centered loner. As i grew older I thought things will change and my father will want to have father-daughter relationship but no I was fooling myself and thinking the impossible. This is my journey from my younger age till now.

Chapter 1

Growing up I always new I’m different from kids my age. Being troublesome and beating everyone and backchatting it didn’t matter if your were an adult or my peer I backchatted and answered cruelly. Things started when my family started treating me differently like maltreating me and calling me names.

I always thought maybe things will change but then who was I fooling I’m the black sheep of the family that’s all my family sees me as a disgrace. When I reached a certain age i started being sexually active and my mom never knew because our mother and daughter relationship is too broken and I didn’t even care if she was in my life anymore.

I started going to tarvens and drinking alcohol cause that’s where I found peace. I was too broken for a sixteen year old .i remember this day when I was still in primary my own mother used to not give me money and I never went to school trips cause she always used to say ” I’m not working and I dont have money why don’t you go and ask you father who ran away because he saw that you won’t be a person”.

All her words made me a loner and I despise my siblings cause since they were born I never had peace I’m always suffering. Life showed me flames and there are things people don’t know about me because I’m not a social person all they see is a happy teen not seeing the pain and the brokenness hidden behind the fake smile.

I always blame myself for the hatred my family has for me sometimes I wish I was never born. I remember clearly how my life took a different turn when I started to have siblings. When I was doing my 4th grade in primary my mom started to change and become some cruel woman I don’t know I thought I was seeing things but then I was just a kid by that time.

But on 6th grade I just knew my mom and her family despises me with their all just because I stood my ground. I suffered to do everything in primary I’m glad I was able to pass well . Eventually things took a different turn when I went to high school. I had to provide for myself like paying my own transport to school and making sure I have money to buy my own lunch.