As you may know, mom remarried when I turned 16, and she married the kindest man in the world. I should’ve given Bra Mthobisi a chance to be my stepfather, a father figure that you failed to be, Mthandeni. He was the man I wished you were, and the man I really aspire to be.
I’m driving home, as soon as I park my car and walk in the house I own, laughter dies down and my children quietly leave the room. My wife quickly stands up, masking her fear with a soft smile.
“Food is ready.” She manages to say.
My heart falls. This is what it has come to, huh? My kids leave the room, as soon as I enter. I remember Bra Mthobisi saying,
“You’re now a husband. Be the band that your wife and kids will love, and listen to. Not listen to out of fear. Be their peace, like their music”
“What did you cook?” I try to smile.
Ayabongwa smiles back, and walks to the kitchen. She walks so slowly, of course, she’s still recovering from the bruises I gave her a week back.
“You can sit down.” She says, warming my plate up.
She serves me lasagna and then takes out a cold beer from the fridge. She pours it on my favorite beer jug, careful not to spill, because the last time she spilled I gave her a slap so hard, she flew over the dining table.
“I’ll leave you be, baba.” Ayabongwa walks away, after handing me my beer.
“Stay” I whisper.
She turns and stares at me, she’s shocked. I can see she’s surprised.
“Please baby. Stay with me.” I repeat.
She walks cautiously to the table and pulls a chair.
“You’re not eating?”
“I..I already ate, baba.” She answers.
“How was work?”
“It was okay. I was fixing up a woman today. A victim of GBV. Her husband burnt her face, so now he’s buying her a new one.”
I lose air. Why would she tell me that? Does she think one day that woman would be her? That she’d fix her own face one day, because of me?
“About last week, I’m.. ” I say
“Sorry. You’re sorry.” She finishes my sentence for me.
I struggle breathing again. I grab my beer mug, and sip the last drop and set it down.
She watches me as I burp, and lean on the chair.
“I’ll get you another one.” She says
“Its okay. One’s enough.”
She looks surprised.