Melokuhle



I have been keeping so busy the past two days that even Lizzie was starting to worry about me but I needed to do something or else having to sit down would drive me insane because all I would be doing was to think about the blood and the pain I was feeling, I don’t want to think not even for a little bit. Just keeping busy has been helping with keeping the thoughts at bay.

I have done the sorghum beer with the help of Lizzie and it is rising very well, according to her I have magic hands, and my parents have also arrived. My mother is helping around while my father went to join the men outside doing whatever men do which I assume is that they are talking.

They will be busy soon, with having to slaughter the 2 cows and tomorrow they will be slaughtering a goat for the baby. Melusi made it clear that he wants everything done at the same time.

I have been taking time to go and check on him and see if he has eaten anything.

“Are you okay?” Melusi pulled me aside. I sighed “I am, can you let me go? I must dish up for the guests who are just arriving.”

But he did not budge looking at my feet “No, your feet are swollen, you need to sit down and stop being busy, you are not here to slave around.” This is the Melusi that I know and love. My shoulders sink low, and I look at him craning my neck so that I can look at his dark hazel eyes. If you looked at him a little too quickly they could pass off as being black.

“I can’t, I will start overthinking about the baby.” Just the thought makes me sick to my stomach, it makes me sad knowing that I will never feel my baby kick or turn in my stomach and see my stomach grow.

“Let’s go for a walk.”

I wanted to protest and complain that I have many things to do but I know better than to do that, Melusi will have no problem throwing me on his shoulders like a pack of potatoes.

So to avoid arguing with him I decided to go with him, I need this walk, we walked in silence, with Melusi holding my waist. Walking like this helps clear the sadness that was starting to build up inside of me and leaves me a bit clearer.

“Ngifuna iziqeda eziwu 2 (I want two ice pops)” Melisi said to the kid at the store. He gave me the red coloured one and he took the coke flavoured ice and told the kid to keep the change from the R20.

We go and sit under the tree, eating our ice, something is calming about this scene right here. The tree gives out a cold shade making me relax.

“I think about it too,” Melusi said, chewing his ice. I looked at him, and he averted his eyes away from me. “I blame myself, thinking if maybe just maybe I arrived a second too early, maybe the baby would have survived.”

I see the hurt and sadness morph into his face, I hold his hand. I didn’t know he was blaming himself too, he looked so worry-free when he was out there like he had found a way to work around the sadness and the pain that comes with having to lose the baby. I have been focusing on my pain alone, forgetting that Melusi is just as hurt.

He turns to look at me “I wish that I could take the pain away from you so that you won’t ever have to feel it but I can’t.” He looked around the place.

I am not used to such quietness but I love it. It is peaceful out here, unlike the busy streets of Gauteng with polluted air.

“I can only be here for you and offer you a shoulder to cry on. ” He said.

We stayed quiet again, me wrapped under his arms, being here in his arms felt like I was home, right where I belonged. Soon we will have to go back but for now, I appreciate this little moment of peace that we have.