Melokuhle



I thought that Zandile would get to live a little bit longer and spend more time with her baby but just after a couple of weeks she fell so ill that the doctors tried everything in their power to save her but there was nothing more for them to do.

Makukhanye is only 8 weeks old and now she has just lost her mother, she stares at the coffin with no knowledge that it is her mother who is being laid to rest, she does not understand what is happening just yet.

I promised that I would tell the baby once she had grown enough about her mother and how she tried to stay strong for her and how she fought to be with her but God called her home a little too early.

I cried when she was pronounced dead, I never thought that there would be a day I would cry for Zandile but she has shown me that anyone can change.

Melusi hands me his handkerchief, he looks crisp in his black suit looking at the coffin being lowered. I take the handkerchief and wipe the fallen tear. I made a promise as the coffin is slowly being lowered that I will love Makukhanye as my own.

I bite down the nausea that I have been feeling ever since yesterday. I thought it was just bile but when I took a pregnancy test I could not believe my eyes when I saw the two lines.

I wanted to tell Melusi right that instance but I kept it to myself just so that I could be sure.

I have booked a thorough check-up for tomorrow morning. Until I can be sure I am not telling anyone.

***

3 months later



“Melusi stop holding the baby, you’ll make her want to be held all the time.”

But it is like I am talking to a wall, I sighed but I smiled when I looked at this new version of Melusi that is soft and gentle.

He has baby proofed the entire place of our place and even takes some time off at work more often to come spend time with the apple of his eye.

He walked over and handed the baby to me, I laughed smelling the dirty diaper “You only brought her cause she popped.” I looked at Makukhanye with perfect eyelashes like her father “Your father is a tsotsi (thief.)” I spoke in a baby voice as I walked into her room and placed her on the small changing table and put her in a fresh diaper.

My heart tugged with warmth at how she looked at me with her small eyes as if I were her entire world. Sometimes it pains me to think back at the child I had lost who would have been the same age as Makukhanye.

But my pain is quickly wiped by Makukhanye’s smiles and giggles. Even her midnight cry makes me feel warm inside, tending to her every need fulfils me. She has managed to wrap me in her tiny little finger with just a look only.

The turning of my baby in my stomach makes me smile a little bit more, Melusi has always been there not wanting to leave me alone even when I insist that I am fine.

I cradle Makukhanye in my arms, sitting down on the rocking chair. I rock her to sleep, and her small eyes start to close singing her a lullaby that my grandmother used to sing for me thula thula.

When I am sure that she is asleep and won’t wake up, I go and place her in her cot and watch her sleep for a minute before walking out with the dirty nappy in hand.

“How long have you been standing here?” I asked when I bumped into Melusi’s hard chest, standing at the door with his arms folded and a huge smile plastered on his face.

He shrugs, moving out of the way “You are a natural.”

I know what he is not saying, that I would have been a good mother to our 1st baby if only I had managed to carry it to term.

“She makes me a natural.” I threw the dirty diaper in the bin and turned to Melusi “And you are a natural too.” I softly poked his chest.

He smiled, pulling me in his arms “Being a mother suits you.” He kissed the tip of my nose making me wiggle it a little bit.

I held him a little bit tighter, this has been the best couple months of my life, and I loved seeing myself grow into the person that I am now.

Melusi places his hand on my stomach and smiles, “I can’t wait to meet him.” He kisses the top of my head and wraps me in his arms.