Melokuhle



Melusi is awfully quiet when we get into our bedroom, maybe because he does not want to say anything to make me mad. I sat on the bed, took out my clothes and wiped off my makeup. My heart is heavy as I looked at myself in the small vanity mirror, this was supposed to be such a special day to be free from all the pain but having seen Zandile just ruined my entire day and left me feeling so low and sad. I wanted to burst into tears the minute I saw Zandile stepping out of the shadows, the same shadows that Melusi walked out of when I called him. I hated my mind for making me think of what they could have been doing in those shadows.

I thought about them kissing, with his hands cupping her breasts, the thought makes me want to throw up just thinking about it. It took me back to the day when we were on our honeymoon and the heartache I had to endure when that good for nothing Zandile sent me that video of the two of them having sex.

“Is it true?” I asked when we got inside the blankets. Melusi shrugged his shoulders, I can almost feel his thoughts that are brewing in his head “I think so.” I closed my eyes, I thought I could be strong this time but it is hard to be strong when all I want is to collapse and break down into tears “When will we get our own peace with no one meddling in? First, it was my father and now it’s your crazy girlfriend.”

Melusi looked at me like I just insulted him “She’s not my girlfriend. I will take care of her.”

“How?” I rolled my eyes, wrapping a doek on my head “Didn’t you say that before already? That you took care of her?” This whole thing is so draining already, that I am just completely exhausted from all of this nonsense already. We have done what needed to be done. I have been introduced to the Xaba family officially. What more is needed from me?”

“I know, but this time I’ll make sure that she doesn’t come back.” He tried to reason, he tried to make me believe but it came out as him trying to convince himself.

We have been down this road before, I have lived this life before. I don’t think I can let myself go down this route again.

“I wanted this day to be perfect and to be filled with happiness. Did she really have to come and ruin it for us?” I looked at Melusi and shook my head.

I switched the lamp, and placed my hand on the pillow and sighed “There’s nothing we can do about it now but wait for tomorrow.” It is not like I will go charging into that hut and demand answers from Zandile not when there are too many people outside, I don’t want anyone else hearing about this.

I heard Melusi mutter under his breath before settling in bed and switching off his side lamp.

My heart weighs heavy as I stare in the darkness, I want to be wrapped in Melusi’s arms but I can’t bring myself to turn around let him hug me and cradle me to sleep like a baby. I want to just close my eyes and wish all this away. I am not supposed to be feeling this pain especially not on my wedding day, I should be beaming with pride, with my insides bouncing off with joy. I should be making sweet love to Melusi right now but instead I am sad and broken again.

Tears streamed down my face, careful that I don’t make a sound. It is like I can never catch a break, why God? I thought maybe after the ceremony we would no longer have to worry about such things that would try or have anyone destroy my relationship with Melusi, I thought now I could finally breathe. My father has finally accepted Melusi and now I have to deal with Zandile all over again.

I’m tired of these tests that leave me wounded and scarred.I felt Melusi stir and turn around at that moment and he wrapped me in his arms bringing me closer to him. “I can hear your mind think.” He kissed my shoulder holding me tighter.

“Tell me what’s on your mind.” He asked softly, I could feel his breath at the back of my neck tickling the small hairs. There is something intimate about this moment that makes me vulnerable, making me want to say that is weighing heavily on my chest “That you will leave me and go start a family with her.” The thought has been on my mind ever since I learnt of the fact that Zandile is pregnant, I have tried to hide it when we were together out there but the thought has been making me nervous. There will be nothing stopping Zandile and Melusi from starting a family together now.

Melusi goes quiet for a second or two and makes me turn around to face him. “Hey.” He spoke softly “I love you okay?” He whispered softly, holding me close to his chest, burying me in his tight muscles, refusing to let me go as if I would vanish if he let go just an inch.

I feel safe here, with our breathing synced together and him rubbing circles on my spine making me relax, chasing all the thoughts out of my mind.

He holds me like that until my breathing slows down and my eyes drop close and just like that sleep welcomes me.