Melusi



I left Melokuhle peacefully sleeping when I slipped out of bed this morning. I made sure not to wake her up, she deserves her beauty sleep.

We need food, the house is basically empty, we have nothing to eat and I want Melokuhle to wake up with breakfast in bed or is it breakfast on the mattress?

There are not so many people here at Wimpy. Hopefully, I’ll be done here and back at home before Melokuhle even wakes up, the smile on my face is so big it is hard to even wipe off.

I woke up feeling light as a feather today, having Melokuhle by my side. I almost couldn’t wake up wanting to snuggle in, a little bit too long and hold her tight making sure that she was real and that she was indeed here.

Even though it was the hardest thing to do, I managed to get up knowing how cranky she could get if she did have her breakfast. One minute she is so sweet the next she is ready to tear my head off, you just never know when her mood is going to change and that excites me as much as it is scary.

My order takes exactly 10 minutes, not a minute longer although I could have wished that it could have taken 5 minutes so that I could rush back to Melokuhle but nothing today can ruin this good mood that I am in. I thanked the person behind the till as I took my paperback. I am happy now that things are finally falling into place and this time I will not dare mess things up, Zandile was a mistake, a mistake that was not supposed to happen.

In 2 months without Melokuhle in my life, I have realised how hard it is to have to live my life without Melokuhle, this time I’ll make sure that I keep her close to me and that I don’t ever reet that foolish mistake, now I know that Melokuhle is the only woman for me and that our love is probably written in the stars.

When I opened the door I walked out with a little bounce on my foot, my phone rang, it was Melokuhle, darn it, I thought I would quickly get home before she even dared to wake up and surprise her with her favourite breakfast, I answer with a smile on my face, having to hear her voice is always a delight “Melusi.” The smile that was on my face quickly got wiped by the sound of Melokuhle crying which was followed by a loud cry, my heart started racing and my hands started shaking thinking of what could have just happened with me being gone in just 10 minutes. I dropped the Wimpy paper bag on the floor, and all the contents came rolling out of the bag. Not caring, I ran to my car and sped off the parking lot, my heart sitting in my throat, making it hard to even breathe. It usually takes me 9 minutes to get to my place but this time it only took me 3 minutes.

I ran out of the car with the door still open and the engine still running. I kicked the kitchen door open, not having time to search for my keys “Melokuhle.” I shouted looking for her in every room that I passed, growing relentless with each second that went by.

I found her kneeling on the floor, the first thing that I saw was a trail of blood from the bathroom to where she is now in the bedroom with tears soaking her face. I took my jacket and wrapped her in it, it was long enough that it almost reached her knees. I picked her up, but her cries didn’t stop as she wrapped her arms around my neck and walked outside with her, I placed her in the back seat and drove to the hospital.

My hands are shaking but I have no time to ask what’s wrong. I doubt even Melokuhle will be able to answer me, as I sped off in the direction of the hospital the only sound that I could hear was the beating of my heart drumming loudly in my ears.

“A doctor,” I shouted as I got into the hospital, the bleeding had not yet stopped, and even Melokuhle looked drained and weak, her eyes are slowly closing, with fear in my eyes I realise that I can’t afford to lose her, not like this, not when we just managed to fix our relationship. She has to live, for both me and her. 

“Doctor,” I shouted again, it felt like a lot of minutes had passed ever since I barged into the door when only 2 minutes had passed. The nurses scramble around until a doctor comes over to me, she places Melokuhle on the stroller and starts wheeling her away.

“You have to stay here.” one of the nurses says to me in an authoritative voice that tells me that she has been saying this line for as long as she can remember. “I am going with my wife and there’s nothing you can do about that.”

The nurse looked at the doctor briefly and when the doctor nodded to the nurse knowing that I would fight my way through just to make sure that I was with Melokuhle, I was not about to let her go in there alone. The nurses moved out of my way, and I followed Melokuhle being wheeled to the emergency care.

I was handed some hospital scrubs and told to sanitise my hands before I could go into the operating room. I did exactly that and went to Melokuhle’s side.

I stayed by her side refusing to move as the doctors started doing their thing, I sat there holding her hand making sure that she knew that I was there for her.

I am always here.

The doctor pulled me to the side when they were all done with Melokuhle. Now it is just me, Melokuhle and the doctor in the room all the chaos that was happening a few moments ago has ended making me able to think and sort through my emotions properly, she looked at Melokuhle a little before turning to look at me with seldom eyes “Your wife just had a miscarriage.” 

Everything went silent for a second or two, I didn’t even hear what the doctor said after that, it felt like I was out of my mind like my spirit just came out of my body. We have been excited to have to meet our baby, it was the only thing I thought about, I was excited that we will be able to build a family together and now this. Does the universe hate me so much that they will allow me to experience such pain?

How will I tell Melokuhle that there will be no baby that she will hold in her arms, that she breastfeeds and tickles? I could see how much she longed to have a baby of her own, one that she would love with all of her heart and give motherly love to.

The doctor patted me on my back and said some words of encouragement and left the room, leaving me distraught and in pain. I sat down on the chair with my head on my hands, the loud beeping of machines brought me back to reality. I looked at Melokuhle sleeping soundly oblivious to what she would wake up to and there would be nothing I could do but just be there for her.

 Is God punishing me for what I did to Melokuhle by taking my baby away from me? The thought came so suddenly that I wanted to believe it, but why punish Melokuhle? Her only wrongdoing was falling for me and choosing to be with me over and over again even when she does not have to and now I have to swallow this whole thing in and prepare myself for when Melokuhle is going to wake up and have to be the one to break the news to her.

I still have to call her parents and Lizzie and break their hearts too, not when they were so excited to become grandparents and spoil the baby with love and material things. 

I took a deep breath and took out my phone after giving myself a few more minutes to catch my breath and set my feelings aside. I will deal with them when I am done informing everyone. 

I dialled Lizzie’s number, but the phone only rang once before she answered. I ignored her greeting and took a deep breath trying to steady my shaky voice “Melokuhle just heard miscarriage.” 

“No,” She spoke in a low, barely audible voice. “Where are you guys?” She asked and promised to be on her way and that she would call Melokuhle’s parents, I must not worry about that. I thanked her before dropping the call and taking Melokuhle’s hand in mine.