Zandile



The man I loved so deeply, the man I hadn’t seen in five years, was here. He was so close yet so far away from my grasp. I noticed how much he had grown in the last five years, with muscles showing and a more secretive demeanor.

This vacation was supposed to be carefree, a time for me and my friends to enjoy ourselves. But everything changed the moment I saw him. I longed for him, but he was no longer mine to have. He had become someone else’s husband. The news hurt me deeply. Deep down, I knew it was inevitable. It had been five long years, and he was bound to move on and find someone new, even though knowing all that, it did not help lessen the hurt I was feeling.

I never expected him to get married to someone else. While I was in Canada, I was focused on my career. I had some casual hookups, but they were short-lived and didn’t mean much to me. I didn’t commit to anyone.

I should have made more effort to stay in touch, to nurture our connection. I should have done video calls and sent countless emails.

I regret the time I had denied Melusi the chance to come visit me during holidays, but I was too busy building my name in Canada that I pushed him to the back of my mind.

Now it is too late. I stood at the door of permanent loss, a loss that may never be repaired. My long-awaited vacation turned into a source of sadness, affecting the mood of my friends. They couldn’t understand the depth of my pain.

Melusi had occupied my thoughts since last night when we almost kissed. I wondered what it would have been like to taste his lips again, to feel his embrace after all this time.

But now, those moments would never come. I had dared to hope for them, but I was wrong.