Ntobeko



I stood there frozen in fear as Siza looked at me, not wavering. I gulped down the lump that had formed in my throat. It was one thing standing at the centre of the stage as the day I came into this world for people I couldn’t see, but standing bare, with nothing covering me, for a man, and not just any man, I had to be naked for a guy who looked like he ran towards danger instead of running away from it.

His stare earlier on had me burning and shivering at the same time. I looked up at him but he stood there his eyes seemed to be carved from iron itself they were hard, boring a hole in my forehead.

I waited, held my breath and crossed my fingers and toes hoping that he would change his mind but he didn’t. Instead, he went and sat on the small couch in the corner and looked at me.

With trembling hands, I removed my scarf and dropped it on the floor. My heart was now on my throat when I took out my t-shirt, left the bra and unzipped my trousers and they fell with a bit of a thud.

He stood up and walked slowly towards me like a lion when it had its eyes on its prey. He didn’t rush, he took his time like he had all the time there was in the world. He was now standing so close to me that I could feel his breath on my face. His fingers grazed at my skin, sending shock waves all over my body.

His fingers slowly moved to the back of my bra. With one gentle tug, the bra became loose, he removed the bra straps from my shoulders and threw the bra on the floor, his eyes not once did they move away from my face.

He picked me up and went to place me on his large bed, which was covered in a black comforter. I closed my eyes when I felt him taking off my underwear.

I was now completely bare, exposed, just as the day I came into this world, there was nothing I could hide behind in, I wanted to wrap my arms around my body, hide myself from Siza’s cold and unforgiving eyes “Touch yourself.” He demanded.

Huh? I snapped my eyes open, I found him looking at me with his hands buried deep in his pockets. My throat suddenly felt dry at his intense stare. I took a deep breath closed my eyes again and imagined myself back at home, in my room with the door locked. I did as I was instructed, it felt weird, I was a bit uncomfortable – strange even. It was as if I was doing something that shouldn’t be done, but even so I didn’t stop, I carried on. Who knows what would happen if I decided to not do what he just told me and make a run for it, he would probably beat me, lock me up somewhere and starve me to death or better yet, he could sell me to the most ruthless person there was.

So instead I swallowed my pride and shoved my dignity where the sun couldn’t shine and pictured myself anywhere but here. I have done this before, I had explored my body before, wanting to see what people who had sexual intercourse felt. I touched myself, I started slowly. I blocked out the noise and pictured myself in my small bedroom far away from this place and Siza’s gaze.

When I had done this back in my room, I felt nothing except for the little rush but other than that I didn’t feel anything, I even stopped exploring my body thinking that all I had to do was maybe find a partner for me to get that ecstasy feeling, but now laying here with my heart racing and my mouth dry, I felt myself burning with need, I felt my blood rush, it felt as if I was anywhere but here, it was the high that I needed, a high that I had never felt before in my life, just when I felt it, just when I was about to explode with an intense feeling my hand got pulled away.

I opened my eyes, for a second I had forgotten where I was and my mind rushed back reminding me that I was abducted and I was in Siza’s bedroom.

Siza was looking at me with need in his eyes, with his jacket off he came to me making me tremble with just a look. He was so close, I could feel his body heat near me, making my heart skip a bit, wondering what he would do, if it were any other day I would have been really anxious, and scared, but right now was not the time to be anxious about. My body betrayed me, it resigned into Siza’s touch, forgetting that I was abducted, my mind was screaming some sense into my body but it seemed to not register. Satisfied with his work he spread me open, like how one would open a book.

He looked at me for a second and let out a heavy groan, he dipped down, into a place that my mother told me not to let anyone in, I want to shudder, wanting the world to open up and swallow me whole. I should be fighting him, screaming my lungs out, protesting but instead my body melted into Siza’s touch and lips, I knew better but right this second it felt like my body had a mind of its own.

Once he was done, he got up and did not acknowledge me as he left me alone in the bedroom and went into what I assumed was the bathroom. I scrambled to look for my clothes and put them on now feeling vulnerable with just my bare skin. My body was still tingling.

I stood awkwardly in the middle of the room not knowing what to do. In 10 minutes Siza walked out with nothing but a towel covering his torso, he was still dripping with a little bit of water as he looked at me.

“I want you,” he said in such a way that left no room for any kind of debate, his rich voice causing my skin to tingle. I gulped down the lump that had formed in my throat, he walked towards me, slowly as if he had all the time in the world. Everything slowed down as I watched him, my heart racing, at this point I was not sure if it was pounding so loudly because of fear or because of Siza.

I could hear myself breathing and the sound of my beating pulse throbbing, threatening to burst open. He smiled a little, his lips barely even moved as he looked down at me and touched the side of my arm I took in a sharp breath not daring to look at him.

“From now on you are mine.” He spun around and walked away as if the last few minutes I had imagined them all.