You watch a lot movies and read a lot of books. My informants have been stalking you for months now, I know a lot about you.
See kid, today I’m gonna need you to turn all those years of watching movies and reading novels and give me a 5 star performance.
Gather all that useless knowledge & skill and put it into a convincing “I’m having a seizure” act. I need you to make Marg fall for your act. Remember how I said that Marg has motherly and tender character traits? This is where they come in. I need your seizure to appear so real and so scary that chubby old Marg stands from her desk and runs over to check on your “seizure-riden body shaking helplessly on the floor”.
Although Marg is our main bait, you also have to reel in curious spectators too. Ideally, a crowd will surrounded you. Some taunting you, others genuinely concerned and some calling an ambulance.
Naturally a woman as caring as Marg will be too concerned and too overwhelmed with worry that she won’t notice me slipping into the back, through a door written, “Employees Only.”
Once I’m in there, we are 25% through with our plan.
Sure there will be security guarding the bank’s vault, but I’m not worried about them. The guards, Kagiso and Thabang, are men. Why would I state the obvious about their sex, you ask?
Because Kagiso and Thabang are those gullible kind of males. The ones who think with their anatomy. One look at my boobies, and they’ll hand me the keys to the vault. Some men are just too easy.
Once in the vault, I’ll bag those Madiba’s as if there is no tomorrow. Approximately 3 minutes max.
Then I will be out.
After giving Thabang and Kagiso a little kiss on their cheeks for being such good boys, I will prepare myself for the action that will likely follow.
To think that I will walk into that vault with R13.50 in my pocket and come out R5 million richer within 180 seconds is a thought I’d like to turn into a reality.
Scratch that.
It’s a thought that is about to turn into a reality.
It’s 16:15 and you know what that means… CRUNCH TIME.