20 minutes until crunch time and you still don’t understand the plan?!

Sweetheart, I’m gonna need you to gather those 3 last remaining braincells and work with me here, got that?

I’ve went through this 4 times before, this better be the last damn time!

Here goes.

We’re going to walk inside the bank casually, showing as little skin as possible, hence the gigantic scarfs and beanies I’ve packed for us.

Its winter so no one will get suspicious.

I have 2 guns fully loaded.

And no, one of them is definitely not for you. I wouldn’t want some amateur handling dangerous weapons. I bet whatever amount of money we’re going to steal, that you can’t even hold a gun properly.

So, I’m definitely not risking it with you.

The extra gun is for backup. In case some civilian decides to play Superman and somehow snatches my gun. Then I’ll have a backup. Then I’ll show him or her, that they chose the wrong day to be a brave nobody.

I’m not planning to go in there, guns blazing. The gun situation, believe it or not, is my last resort. If push comes to shove, gun shots will be heard.

Right, back to the plan.

We walk in casually, preferably not catching the eye of many people. I’m gonna need you to be quiet. I did some background research on you and it turns out, you’re a chatty person. On any other day, I wouldn’t mind your blabbing mouth. But, not today though. Not while we’re robbing this bank.

We walk to a bank consultant, and Oh, for Christ’s sake, I’m also going to need you to look calm and collected. I get it, it’s your first time, your fears may overcome you. But the last thing I need, is a sidekick who looks as though they’ve been kidnapped. So act chill. Got that?

The bank consultant we will be approaching has to be Margaret Khumalo. She’s in her late 40s, chubby and spots a worn out maroon curly wig. After months of familiarizing myself with the bank staff, Margaret stood out. I chose Margaret because, she has an empathetic motherly tenderness, something that is a key element in our plan. It’ll make sense as I explain further.

We walk towards our dear Marg, and we tell her our not-so-real story about “the credit card that we’ve recently lost and that we would like to get a replacement.”

The process is usually long and tedious.

Three minutes into filing out the documents, your time to shine will come. You better not disappoint me.